The 4am Blues

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So it would appear that my insomnia is back again, and this time it bought a friend along for the journey-a hefty dose of paranoia and worrying. Which is, y'know, fun. You know those little, niggly things that if you thought of any other time of day you'd swat away like an annoying insect intent on feasting on you? Have you ever noticed how if they sneak up on you when you're trying to go to sleep they become the biggest things in the world? They circle around and around in your brain getting bigger and bigger and suddenly you definitely aren't going to sleep because this is all you can think about and you have no idea how you're going to solve the problem and it's really rather worrying. So I gave up and tried to get out of bed. In the process of doing this I managed to whack my knee pretty hard on* the side of the bed which left me writhing in agony and swearing like a sailor for a while. Once this had subsided from a raging fire to a dull ache (and a lovely bruise), I again attempted to stand up. Bearing in mind that I live in an attic, bearing in mind that my writhing had left me in a slightly further back poisiton than I thought I was and bearing in mind I have low beams at just about head height you can probably guess what happened next. By this point I was already over tired and emotionally frought and the bang on the head was enough to tip me over from in control to emotional wreck. It didn't even hurt that much, but I was fighting back the tears all the same, and just felt a bit shitty about everything.
This time last year I would have had a friend on another continent who would put up with me being miserable at her for a bit and then generally make me feel better by balancing things on her head. It was the only time when the time difference between here and Australia wasn't a bitch to navigate, when I was having a 5am meltdown and she was calmly sitting there in the middle of the afternoon just being strange to me to make me smile. Nowadays she's back residing in RightWayUpLand and so is currently asleep like most normal people are at this time of day, which is wonderful, most of the time, but leaves me bereft of a cheerer upper at times like this**.
So what's an emotional, close to tears and in need of a friend girl to do at 4am when everyone else is slumbering? Answer: Turn to the internet.
Somehow I stumbled upon some wonderful blogs. And I read them, and they made me giggle a little (especially this one) and then I felt better. Much better in fact. It's like there's this whole network of people all talking to each other-maybe not directly, but through their blogs. Whatever problem you're having, someone else has had it too, and written about it in their own little corner of the internet just so you can read it and feel relieved that you're not alone, that there is a solution, that it's really nothing to worry about really. It's a really supportive and awesome community, that of the blogging peeps, whether they are directly talking to you on Google+ (I Google+ now, Google+ is cool.) or whether it's just putting out awesome blogs designed to put a smile on your face. Either way, I'm pleased that I am a tiny little part of it.

And to all my fellow bloggers,
THANKS. YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

-Jenni-


*I'm glad I proof read this. There was originally no space between hard and on. I would just like to clarify that I did not knock my knee on a hardon-there's scarce few of those in my life at the moment and if one came along I probably wouldn't take my knee to it. Well...not straight away anyway.
**Something which I don't attribute any blame to her for, because I can almost guarantee I've just made her feel guilty about it. If so, sorrysorry. It wasn't meant that way, I'm tired and it's silly AM and I'm writing a blog post coz that's what I do now.