2012 was the year I got my heart well and truly broken when I got dumped in April, which didn't help me with what was left of my studies and generally made life a bit unbearable for a while. To compound matters my ex (who was still a good friend of mine) and another close mate got together and decided that I no longer fitted into their perfect lives any more and just cut me out of them, leaving me with a bit of a hole where I had previously had friends who cared about me. Judging by the endless stream of Facebook updates they are clearly happy together and any feelings I may have on the subject don't matter one jot to either of them.
2012 was the year that I had to move out of my beloved city and away from a lot of my close friends and the support network I had been relying upon to help me get back to myself. I've spent some of my loneliest days this year just sitting in my old childhood bedroom in my pyjamas with no-one to talk to and no money to do anything really missing having friends close by, if only for a hug. I was unemployed for some months and found out just how dull that is and how hopeless you start to feel about everything very quickly. I've left all my social activities behind in Sheffield too, and some times I didn't have anything to get dressed and leave the house for for an entire week, which isn't a fun realisation. In 2012 my birthday was terrible AND I was ill on Christmas day-basically all of the holiday periods have had a downer put on them some way or another.
But. Things seem to be on the up again. I'm over the break up and actually almost starting to enjoy being a single person with no-one else to answer to, and being free to do anything. I'm employed, albeit only until the 19th of January, but I love my job and it gets me out of the house and socialising with people that aren't my parents which is something that I really needed. I'm not making a fortune but I am so much happier than I was in October, and it gives me the freedom to travel to Sheffield to see friends when I want to. My childhood bedroom is getting a much needed influx of new furniture and I might even slap a lick of paint on the walls too.
In 2013 I hope to get a "proper job", move out of my parent's house and into a space of my own and get my life safely back on the road to adulthood. I want to get back on stage and sing and do all the things I love again. Maybe even find a new boyfriend but for once it's not something I'm giving a high priority to. I'm going to have a kick ass awesome birthday to make up for this year's massive flop. I'm deleting the ex and the ex-best friend from Facebook because I'm drawing a line under the whole thing and moving on, rather than wasting my thoughts on them any longer. I'm pinning my hopes on you, 2013, don't you let me down.
But it definitely hasn't been all doom and gloom this year-I've laughed as much as I've cried probably. I played my favourite character ever in a show and got to stand in the middle of the curtain call for the first time. I travelled around the country and did some awesome things whilst I was working for my Student's Union. I graduated from university, surrounded by the friends who had done it all with me and though I was sad to be leaving, the day itself was awesome. I went to Rome with my besty and didn't melt despite the scorching heat, and laughed myself silly in the process. I went to the Edinburgh festival with some amazing people and performed a sell out show and had a really really good time. I've visited people around the country, seen shows and gigs and comedians and made enough good memories to tell me that this year was definitely not all bad. Not even half bad, really.
So I'll raise a glass to 2012, and cross my fingers to make a wish at midnight, surrounded by people that I love and who make me laugh enough to forget my cares about everything.
Hope your 2012 has been good, but hope your 2013 is even better.
Happy New Year!