Home.

When I was younger I was determined that I was never ever going to move out of my house-I was going to live in it forever and ever and bring up my family there and then pass it on to them when I died. My mum once mentioned in passing wanting to move house and I actually cried. I never wanted to think of anyone else living there in my space-in the attic bedroom that was built just for me and still has the eccentric paint choices 11-year-old me chose to put there. All of my childhood memories are there, and I've experienced some wonderful things during my time living in it. I recently realised  though that it no longer feels like home to me-it's not the place I want to be any more. For one thing it's full of small children and small children's toys and small children's mess. It's also because I've grown up and grown out of it-my bedroom is full of clutter that I have accumulated over the past 10 years or more, stuff that I don't want or need any more. I think if my parents decided they were going to move house tomorrow then although I would still be quite sad, it wouldn't be the heart breaking thing it once was to me.
It's also the city-much as Nottingham will always hold a special place in my heart, I don't really enjoy it any more. I know all of its nooks and crannies and secrets, I'm no longer taken aback with how pretty it looks in the summer time and it's just lost its sparkle for me a little.

Although I'm not denying that it does look pretty!
(Source)

Whilst I know that I will always come back eventually, if only to visit the best chocolate shop in the world or pop in to my favourite theatre for a show, my heart's not set on living there any more. 

I realise that this has come about because of my student life-living away from my parents and gaining my independence has just been wonderful, and getting to know somewhere that was originally brand new to me equally so. I know not everyone understands how I can claim to have falling in love with a city-a little over a year ago I was agonising about leaving important people behind in one city by moving to another one, and someone asked me how there could even be a contest between people and a place.
I can't really explain it, only to say that sometimes places can just feel like home, it's like something within you recognises that here is somewhere that will give you everything you need. I remember back in 2009 on an open day here (actually my 2nd for relatively boring and complicated reasons) standing at the window in my university library looking over the houses and hills of Sheffield and thinking "Yeah, I could definitely learn to love it here". 

It was something like this. Only, y'know, not because
I totally screen-shotted this from a programme filmed in Sheffield...
Source: Prisoner's Wives, BBC

When I actually got to uni, I always made sure I chose computers that looked out over the city so that when I was working I could glance up and see it in all its beauty laid out before me. I love to get lost in a good view and have been known to spend a lot of time in a bathroom at the top of a tall building just drinking in the sights of my favourite city coming to life in an early morning. Every time I my train pulls into the station I feel like I'm coming home again. Sheffield still holds a lot of magic for me because there's still so much of it that I don't know-a new gorgeous view to discover or a beautiful old building or a shop selling various nick-nacks and wonderful stuff. 

A beautiful old building, and one of my favourites-Firth Court

Also this is the sight that greets me when I step off the train,
makes my heart lift every time.

It feels so different to me to Nottingham too, not only because I have experienced it through the rose-tinted eyes of a student and not a proper person but also because the two cities have completely different atmospheres when you walk around them. And while I don't think I'll ever learn to love Sheffield's massive hills, this city has really stolen my heart in a myriad of ways and I just can't imagine wanting to live anywhere else at this stage in my life...just as soon as I find a job here.

Sheffield, my love, I'm working my way back to you so I can be home again.

-Jenni-