A Minor Win For The Grammar Bandit

My friend turned me into a Meme because she's
basically awesome.

I'm always amazed when walking down any street with shops on to see how many grammatical errors I encounter-and the number is always remarkably high.What I don't understand is this-how on earth can so many people get so many things wrong? It's not like we haven't been taught it-we were! At primary school at the very least, and they were probably reiterated to us many times throughout our lives, so how difficult can it be? If you have a spelling or grammar error in a sign in the window of your shop-or worse, in the shop sign itself-it speaks to me of laziness and lack of respect for your business. It just doesn't feel very professional to me, is all. I mean these days it's not even really that hard to check with spell checkers and wiggly green lines and ALL OF THE INTERNET at your disposal, so it just comes across as laziness or stupidity on the part of the sign writer. I know I'm probably opening myself up as an easy target here, because I'm sure my blogs are full of sloppy grammar, and I know I have a bad habit of over using exclamation marks, but I'm really talking about the simple things that everyone should know, not just those who studied English at higher levels.
The worst offenders by far are apostrophes-people just don't seem to know what to do with them at all! I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen shops offering "tea's and coffee's" or "CD's", and there's even a tattoo parlour near me that proudly declares that they do "Tattoo's"-above the entrance to the shop no less.

This was stolen from Google Earth so it's a bit smushed
together but you can still see the offending apostrophe!

Would you trust someone to ink something permanently into your skin when they can't even get the sign for their own shop correct? No thank you!

Another one I see knocking around a lot is 'smile, your on CCTV' types-and that makes me twitch just to even type it. I'm not really sure where the confusion lies between 'you're' being short for 'you are' and 'your' meaning belonging to you but apparently it's there. Or possibly their, to some people. (Twitch.)

I used to be quite the stickler for it-was constantly correcting people's grammar on Facebook or Bebo (ha!) and the like-and it's something that makes people really mad! There have been numerous times when I've felt bad for correcting someone when they reply with "DYSLEXIC!" shouted back at me, or just had someone get angry with me for correcting them on their own status etc.. (Not, as it happens, ect, which means something rather different!). I've since relented a little-on your Facebook, in text messages etc. you can use whatever grammar you like and for the most part I won't call you up on it, unless you're someone who I know won't mind or should know better. In conversation too-I don't think you should pick on that because everyone has their own way of speaking full of their own colloquialisms and idioms and you shouldn't interfere with that unless you have been explicitly paid to do so. But if you use terrible grammar or make spelling mistakes on your company's website, in a sign on or around your shop, in formal correspondence or any other setting where you're supposed to be showing a professional front-I will judge you. My big mental red pen will come out and I'll start correcting things, if only in my head. Although I did once point out a spelling error in a presentation given to me at a job interview! I will also try to avoid using your business where I can, because I feel like if you can't take the time to get that basic thing correct, what other, more important things are you getting wrong or not noticing?

There is a happy ending to my tale, however, albeit only a small one. The other day I was walking through a shopping centre that had otherwise blank walls decorated with artwork by local children/artists and a short description beside them. As we walked past one of these, my speed reading eyes processed the fact that there was a horrible mashing together of sentences that weren't properly punctuated, and I exclaimed as much to my friend. What I hadn't realised though is that the sign painters were still nearby, and overheard me. One of them asked me to point out the mistake to him so that he could correct it for me. I think what I actually said was
"It needs a comma or something. I mean ideally it needs a full stop but you don't have a capital letter so you can't do that. A semi-colon would be best actually, but if nothing else, it needs a comma!"
He told me he didn't think there would be room for a semi-colon but he'd make sure something got sorted out for me and I went on my merry way.
To my surprise, when I walked past the other day and look there was a semi-colon. My semi-colon! I mean it's still a horrible sentence and would be better off being re-written entirely, but it's much better than it was!

I'm taking that one as one small victory for the Grammar Bandit, though there's still quite a way to go!

*hoists big red pen onto shoulder and walks off into sunset, cape flapping majestically in the breeze*

-Jenni-

Book 56/65-How To Be A Woman, Caitlin Moran

A couple of months back I mentioned that I was starting a book list challenge that I had found on the internet entitled '65 Books to Read in Your 20s'. When I saw that this one was on the list I was very happy because I had already decided that I was going to read it again, and I love serendipity. Also because it mean that I could begin my challenge straight away-I didn't have to hunt through dusty second hand shelves (one of my favourite things in the world to do, in fairness) to find a specific book but merely walk to my bookcase and pick one up. I can cross an item off the list without any effort at all-and everyone knows they're the best things to cross off lists (like adding things to your to-do list that you've already done so you look more productive!).


I read HTBAW for the first time after some very insistent recommendations from some good friends of mine, and on more than one occasion having bewilderingly out of context yet still hilarious pieces quoted at me by text message. In her own words, Moran says that HTBAW is "a book about feminism! A funny but polemic book about feminism. Like 'The Female Eunuch'-but with jokes about my knickers!"
She doesn't disappoint, either-it's very funny. Re-reading for the second time whilst at work in a semi-professional environment, I often found myself clamping my hand over my mouth to try and stifle the gigglefit that was making my shoulders shake and my sides hurt.
It's delightfully anecdotal-cringeworthy-ly, head nodding in agreement-ly anecdotal. We've all been there, one way or another-every woman will be able to empathise with at least one of CatMo's tales, or top it with one of her own. It's also interspersed with some excellent life advice that doesn't feel preachy or teachy but more like an incredibly wise friend is telling them to you while you sip cider in a sunny beer garden somewhere. You start to question why you hadn't already formed opinions on these subjects yourself, and suddenly realise that they actually matter to you more than you'd ever realised.

HTBAW covers all of the important things in life (and some more trivial)-underwear (and how it is shrinking), porn, brazilians (the pubic topiary, not the people), fat, sexism, fashion, children (and why you should and shouldn't have them), abortions, bras and what to call your genitalia, amongst others! It was the first thing I'd read that made me actually realise that those things I'd been thinking all along meant I was a feminist, that that was a word I could-and should-use to describe myself, that this was an excellent thing. I know that to some people saying that you like CatMo is a serious feminist faux pas (Feminists, why you so judgy?) and I will agree that she does have a terrible habit of saying some truly awful things and then making it worse by being a dick about it afterwards. But no-one's perfect, and I can think that just because you agree with and admire one thing that someone's produced, it doesn't mean you have to agree with everything. There's no such thing as the "perfect feminist" because it means something different to every person, and everyone does it differently. I think that what should matter is that you are one, rather than what type of one you are.

I reckon every 20-something woman (and probably man too) should read this book because HTBAW is the friendly, paddle-in-the-shallow-end kind of introduction to the idea of feminism that you need. After that, you can choose your own way-read some fabulous blogs, talk to some wonderful people, watch some awesome videos, form your own opinions and disagree with people. On my second read through of this book I found myself wholeheartedly disagreeing with CatMo on some points-and that's how it's supposed to be, there's nothing wrong with that. HTBAW isn't an instruction manual on how to lead your life, how to be a feminist, or even how to be a woman, but more of a key to a door and a gentle push over the threshold to the world of feminism, and then you get to make your own way from there.
I, personally, think it's fabulous.

Memorable Quote: "Why are we starving our bottoms of the resources-like an extra metre of material-to stay comfortable? Why have we succumbed to pantorexia?" (page 97)

-Jenni-

The Book List Challenge

[Source-Open Clip Art Library]

Recently, whilst browsing through Buzzfeed (the King of procrastination websites, if you didn't know-to the point where I've just lost half an hour on it instead of writing up this post...) I came across a list entitled '65 Books You Need To Read In Your 20s' which caught my interest enough for me to actually read it rather than just skim through it.
I was intrigued because it wasn't full of the usual books which seem to populate the numerous '101 books you should read before you die' lists that I've seen in various corners of the internet-lists that are usually full of archaic classics that people think will complete your life when you read them. Here's the thing (and call me a heathen if you like) but I don't really enjoy reading classics-I find them really difficult to get through and the story lines are tiresome and tedious. I really don't like the excessive amounts of detail in them-every little thing has paragraphs of unnecessary description that you have to wade your way through to get back to the important plot points and I just find it really rather dull. I can't say that I wouldn't enjoy the stories in  the end (as I've never really given them a chance) I'm just really unmotivated to actually try and find out really. If given a choice I would always prefer to read one of my gory, modern-day thrillers over a classic book, even if they are all almost the same. I will let you judge me as you will.

This book list though, is different, because it is mostly comprised of books that I've never even come across before-I've only heard of 3 or 4 of them, and I've only actually read one. Plus I love a challenge with a time limit-I'm in my 20s, I love reading, I could totally tackle 65+* books in 7 years. I could probably read them before I was 25 actually, if I had them all already in a nice, teetering stack, and didn't have to physically locate them all.

So there we go. I'm setting myself a challenge-complete the list before the end of my 20s (Deadline: 7/7/30). It means I'll read books from all around the world, from every genre and most importantly ones I probably wouldn't have chosen to read for myself. I'm always wanting to increase the range of books that I read because I do have a bad habit of sticking to the same genres again and again-essentially reading the same story a hundred times. (Seriously, if you want to know how to write a crime/thriller/police novel I can give you the perfect formula off the top of my head!)
I'm not saying I'll enjoy every book, but I will endeavour to read them all cover to cover (unless they turn out to be truly awful a few chapters in, to the point where I can't bear to read any more). The ones I love, I'll keep, the ones I'm not so fond of will go to a charity shop or back to the library (if I ever get around to setting myself up with a library card, that is!). I'll review them, if I remember, or at the very least record whether I enjoyed them or not. I'm not going to read them in the right order, and I'm not going to solely read books from the list because I've got 7 years to do it, I'm not in a big rush. I only need to read 10 a year or so to keep on track, and I probably read at least five times that each year.

Whatever happens, my bookcase will be full and my brain will be brimming with tales. It should be fun!

-Jenni-

*I say 65+ because some of them on the list are trilogies or series, so it's definitely a bit more than 65 in total.

P.S This is my 100th post, hurrah! Here's to the next 100 more, ey?
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