Barefaced Cheek!

[Source-BBC Website]

Tonight is the annual BBC's Children In Need fundraiser to raise money for children's charities across the UK. I'm not here to pick fault with the event on the whole because I actually take a lot of pride in the fact that as a country, we come together twice a year and give stupendous amounts of money to people who are worse off than we are-it's one of the few truly great things left about Great Britain, I reckon. Every year, the BBC suggests some sponsored events to take part in, and this is where my grudge lies. This year, they're asking women to be sponsored to go 'Bear Faced' for CIN, and I have all kinds of problems with this. The idea is that you forego all make-up (save for a small paw-print temporary transfer) for an entire day, and ask people to sponsor you for it. Ugh, this makes me cross for so many reasons.

Firstly, as I've said before, I'm not really keen on the idea of forcing people to wear no make up-for what ever reason it may be. Some women choose to wear make-up every day for a whole host of reasons personal to them, and I'm not going to judge them for it in any way. I know that for a lot of people, wearing make-up helps them be more self-confident, helps them feel beautiful or just helps them face the world a little better, and I would never want to ask someone to forego that layer of comfort, even for charity. Asking someone potentially feel uncomfortable or unhappy for a day as a way to raise money feels like a pretty dirty trick from the BBC to me. I know that all the money raised is going to good causes, but if it's at the cost of someone's self-confidence, even if it's only for a day, then it's asking too much, as far as I'm concerned.

Secondly, I can't help but feel like this is making an issue out of something that really isn't an issue-it's making not wearing make-up daily seem like a weird, abnormal activity. Considering that this suggestion lies alongside 'wearing your pyjamas to work' and 'sponsored silences', it's definitely placing the not wearing of make-up into the 'abnormal stuff you just wouldn't do all the time' category and not the 'this is actually a pretty normal thing' one-which let's face it, it is! There's already so much pressure for women to look a certain way, so many airbrushed photos telling us that this is what we should be that it's not really all that surprising that women wear make-up. That doesn't make not wearing it weird though-I can't help but feel like this is just one more way to tell women that they "should" be wearing make-up every day if they want to be "normal", and that makes me really cross. Whether or not you choose to wear make-up or not shouldn't make you "abnormal", whereas I feel if you started going to work every day in your pyjamas then you might get talked about. They're not on the same level of behaviour, and I for one am a little bit insulted that the BBC seems to think they should be.

Finally, I just don't think people should be sponsored for not doing anything. I realise this sounds a little contradictory to my first point, so I'll try to explain myself.  Personally, I would never feel comfortable asking someone to sponsor me to not wear make-up, because I might as well ask them to sponsor me to wear pants every day, or remember to brush my teeth. It's something I already do anyway with no thought whatsoever, so how could I ask someone for money for it when I have done literally nothing to earn it?
I know that this is not the case for everyone, and that some people will find the idea of not wearing make-up for a day a huge psychological trial-and they have my utmost respect if they choose to go Bear Faced anyway because that's a big thing for them. But I still feel like they shouldn't have been asked to in the first place-it's way too personal and goes way beyond simply not putting foundation on in the morning. For everyone else, the people like me who are fairly indifferent to wearing make-up, or the people who don't really think they need it, but just like wearing it, this is no big deal at all. It's literally saving you time when you get up in the morning, and I just can't bring myself to sponsor people for doing nothing.

So yeah, Children in Need will still be getting their money from me, but I definitely won't be supporting their Bear Faced campaign. How about you?

-Jenni-

Diary Of A Scrounger

Ugh, even this makes me feel depressed

I've been on the dole for a little over two months now and they've already made me want to jack it all in again-if it weren't for the fact that I kinda need the money I probably would have by now. I'm a little in awe of anyone who chooses to deliberately live like this (like our dear government seems to think so many people are doing)-going in for fortnightly meetings, being moved around from person to person, having forms filled in for you (because of course they're much too complicated to do by yourself!) and jumping through all of the necessary hoops to keep them satisfied that you're actively looking for work-it's exhausting and humiliating. I can't understand why anyone would choose that as a life for themselves if they had any other options.

When I was sat there the other day having the appropriate form filled out for me, there was a box to fill in my National Insurance Number, so I rattled it off to the guy. He continued searching through the various bits of paper looking for it so I assumed he hadn't heard me. I told him it again, and this time he acknowledged that I'd spoken to him, yet he still found the appropriate bit of paper and copied it down as if I'd never opened my mouth. I just felt like a child, like I couldn't be trusted to know my own personal information and it had to be verified through another source.

On another occasion my advisor expressed surprise that I hadn't got a job if I was applying to all the ones I'd listed on their stupid form. I told her why-because I'm really crap at application forms-then asked if they had anything that could help me with that. She basically replied that they only really have workshops to help people who have never had a job and that there wouldn't be any point in me going on them because they wouldn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Apparently I have had too much work experience for the job centre to help me find a job...great. Oh and my degree, that confuses them every time. I sometimes have to wonder if I am the only person who's come through Higher Education who's ever stepped foot in that place, the way they goggle at me like I'm an alien. Clearly the concepts of a graduate failing at life is not something they encounter all that often at the good ol' dole office.

This week they didn't give me any money. I've been racking my brains trying to work out why this is, because as far as I know I'd done all that they had asked of me. Apparently I didn't jump through every hoop properly, or forgot to do something and therefore MUST BE PUNISHED. Now I'm kinda lucky in that I do have a little bit of spare money to play with-money that was ear marked out for driving lessons but is slowly but surely being consumed by trips to Sheffield and a new waterproof coat for this lovely British summer we're having etc. I'm not desperate for the dole money (yet!), but I can't help but wonder what would happen if I was? What if that £113 was all that I had to last me two weeks, and it got taken away with no prior warning, where would that leave me? I had a meeting with my advisor last week, she could have told me what I had neglected to do, given me some forewarning that I wouldn't be getting anything this week, pointed out my mistake so that I wouldn't do it again. Instead the first inkling I had that I was getting any money for (at least) this fortnight was when it wasn't in my bank account on Monday morning. If I'd have needed that money to, y'know, LIVE OFF, I would have been absolutely screwed: No food for me this week, I have nothing to buy it with. That's OK though, because I can't even pay for the bus trip to the supermarket because I have no money. Better not turn on any lights or use any hot water because I have nothing to pay the bills with.
I know I am lucky because these aren't problems I am actually facing, but Jesus, if the people who run the country think that people would actually choose to live like that, their livelihood decided by the whim of someone else, then they're bigger wankers than I thought they were. Here I was thinking the job centre actually want to help people. Fat chance.

-Jenni-

My dear readers, can I ask of you a huge favour? Me and my best friend Rara have made the final of a competition to win a holiday to Dublin but the result is decided by Facebook votes. Please can you spare a couple of seconds to go to this link and vote for 'Jenni and Sarah' to give us a shot? I would be forever grateful!
THANK YOU!

Why Don't Shops Sell Clothes in MY SIZE?

Used with permission from Debbie Ridpath Ohi
at Inkygirl.com

So I went browsing in a shop the other day*, saw a couple of things I liked on the sale rale and took them into the changing room to try on. As you do, you know, like normal. Both of the items I had picked up were a size 18 which is what size I happen to be** and so I expected them to fit me. As you do. What happened was this: The lovely teal dress I tried I had expected not to fit me around the shoulder region. Normally size 18 dresses won't do up above about my bra strap level so I was expecting disappointment, but I could barely get my bum in it and it wouldn't zip higher than my lower back. The second item was more promising; a not-really-wool long T-shirt/short dress type thing. I did get it on but the sleeves were so tight that they hurt (which is definitely not something I look for in my clothes!) and the actual dress was also really tight. I could have worn it-it looked fine, but I wouldn't have felt comfortable in it at all. My conclusion is that these clothes were not really a size 18. I wouldn't have minded if they had said they were a 14/16 on the label but 18 on the hanger, then I would have realised my mistake and left it. Or even if they were sized differently in the first place-I wouldn't have tried them on then. But why go to the bother of making clothes in larger sizes if they're not actually the sizes they claim to be? Why go "Come and shop in our shop, we do lots of common sizes and we're awesome" when you really mean "we don't want to sell you clothes if you are bigger than a certain size!" Don't even get me started on Primark-whoever decided that the difference between a size 10 and a size 20 is simply about 6 inches in length but no other dimensions is a total idiot who has never met an actual woman.

More recently, I went shopping in the Dorothy Perkins online sale and treated myself to this lovely dress in a size 20, note a full size ABOVE my actual size (because dresses are weird shapes, basically!). I collected it from the store and took it to the changing rooms to try on. So far so good. Unzipping the dress, I tried to pull it on in the normal fashion-over the head. I couldn't get the waistband (which if you look at the picture you'll notice is quite tight) over my boobs. I thought this was a little odd but nevertheless continued undeterred. Thinking perhaps that you had to get into it in the more unconventional method of pulling it up over your hips, I tried this. This time I couldn't get the waistband over my bum. I thought perhaps I hadn't unzipped it all the way, but on closer inspection, I had, from neck to hip level. I tried again to get it over my head, thinking I had originally got the underskirt tangled up thus preventing my success. Nope, even with pulling the underskirt down first it wouldn't go on. I ask you this: why would a designer make a dress that was a size 20, when a size 18 woman can't even get it on because the designer waistband (which I'm sure would have made it look lovely on) is un-stretchy and ill-sized? Normally I don't have a problem with Dotty P's stuff, I own a lot of their clothes and regularly fit into a size 18 with no issues at all, so I can only conclude that this was a spectacularly poorly designed dress that can only be worn with people who don't have any body fat at all or who are made of elastic, and therefore can stretch themselves thinner to get into it. I'm sure it would have looked absolutely lovely on Mrs. Incredible.

It's bad enough that so many shops don't even make ranges in any sizes above a 16***, maybe an 18 at a push, like just because you're a larger person it means you can't shop in fashionable shops if you want to. Then the shops that do stock our sizes appear to be squeezing us out (pun totally intended) as well by making their clothes just a smidgen too small to be comfortable, or to do up correctly, or for us to fit in at all. Let's face it, clothing designers, Britain is getting fatter. If the UK average is a size 16 then if the rest of the data fits on a bell curve there are as many size 18 people out there as size 14, as many 20s as 12s (Yes, I'm dumbing all this down for the purposes of this post, don't focus on my [lack of] knowledge of statistics and averages, OK?). Surely then, you should be looking out for us larger ladies as much as your skinnier clientele, surely you should be wanting us to spend our money in your shops and look amazing in your clothes as a walking advertisement too, instead of driving us away by making ill fitting clothes that clearly aren't in the sizes you proclaim them to be. Here's a hint, when you're making them, GET PEOPLE TO TRY THEM ON IN EVERY SIZE. That way you'd know beforehand when you were making a dress that has a waistband rendering it utterly useless to anyone with lumps and bumps and could rectify this before rolling them out to the shops.
Instead, I'm complaining to Dotty P's and writing this blog post. HEY. I'm a size 18, not some magical made up size in your head, Mx. Designer. I want to buy clothes that fit me, thanks. Make it so.

-Jenni-

*Disclaimer: The other day in this instance actually equals a few months ago now. I started writing this then ran out of steam in the middle.
**admittedly I am an 18/20 in dresses due to my gargantuan shoulders, but still.
***Don't even get me started on this, that's another blog post for another day!

Don't Feed The Trolls

Source: Thankyou Wikipedia

Thankfully, I have never (yet!) myself fallen victim to those most heinous cowards; the Internet Trolls, but I know of several people who have and heard about many unpleasant things that have been said and done to both my friends and total strangers. Tonight I followed such an incident on (where else) Facebook-one of those groups that are specifically set up to invoke rage in people. You know the ones- usually being very callous and heartless about a subject that many people will find inflammatory or hurtful such as (genuine example from the pit of the Facebook Trolls) "Cancer is funny coz people die, LOLS." The particular group tonight, much as I hate to promote them, was called "I Hate Teen Moms" and was basically doing a good job of what trolls do best-upsetting a group of people for fun by calling them all "immoral" and "a burden to society" as well as being "illiterate". Now don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to have their own opinions* on a particular subject matter (and heaven knows I have been far too judgemental myself from time to time) but this group was specifically set up to troll-to cause offence just to get a reaction. When one young mum posted on their wall to say that she was finishing university that year and had completed GCSEs and A-Levels after giving birth at 16, she was leapt upon by the members of the group who began attacking her (all virtually, of course) in all sorts of disgusting ways-saying that she was "not mentally equipped to have a child at that age", that "95% of teen mothers are moronic and [she] was one of them", and that she was a "dumbf__k who couldn't keep her legs closed"** and on and on and on with this bile, all aimed at her because she tried standing up for herself against them. In the description of the group, it said that it was made for "satire and dark humour" but I could find neither in their personal attacks against her (and others-this was only reading just one comment thread of several!). I know that most people agree that you shouldn't 'feed the trolls' by giving them the reaction that they are aiming for, but when someone/the things they believe in are being assaulted then you can understand why they would try and fight their corner against them.
And the sad thing is is that this is happening in every crevice of the internet-anything that someone holds dear to them whether it be taste in music or sexuality, the way you dress or a disability, hair colour or a life style choice or horrible diseases that rob us of those we love and everything else you can think of. For every group created somewhere like Facebook to offer support, solidarity, friendship or a great chill out place for soft-cheese lovers there's at least one group of people going out of their way to (pardon my language) shit all over it just for kicks.
When did this become an accepted part of society? When did it become OK to just hurl abuse at people just to try and get a rise out of them. Since when did owning a laptop and an internet connection give someone the right to be a total dick to everyone they virtually encounter? I just can't imagine something like this happening outside of the virtual world where it's possible to be anonymous and hide behind a clever-dick screen name and offensive avatar. Outside of cases of prejudice-related violence and abuse, (which you will have to pardon me for not going into detail over today-another deplorable avenue of humanity for another blog post.) most of the judgements people make about people every day live in their heads and aren't used to bait people into a fury in the name of "satire and dark humour". Whether it's born from boredom, or cowardice or genuine malice, it sickens me sometimes to realise the lengths that people will go to just to upset other people. And whilst 90% of the time I will do what I always do, refuse to get inflamed by these groups and just click on the 'Report' button and wait for the group to be shut down***, sometimes you have to let it get to you,

Source: The Good Doctor
(Image created by me)

sometimes you have to notice how horrible human beings can be to each other in the name of a joke, and hang your head for the future of our species.

Source: Know Your Meme

Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, Flamers, Internet Dickheads, just fuck off and grow up will you? The world would be a much nicer place without you in it.

-Jenni-

NB: I'm sure Facebook could do more than it does in stopping these troll groups from reaching as many people as they do-something similar to the Twitter-bots (who search for specific terms in tweets) could monitor groups with 'I hate' in the title for inflammatory content. If a group gets reported and shut down, the person who made the group should be banned from making any more groups or pages for a while. OR SOMETHING. I don't know. There must be more that can be done to make these hideous people take their poison to some other corner of the internet where no-one will find them, surely? Hopefully some day.


*The difference, I think, comes in how you express that opinion. A lively discussion between two parties that disagree is fine, but attacking every aspect of someone's personality for a belief they hold or the way they live their lives or whatever it is is just callous and pretty disgusting, especially when it's all for your own "fun".
**Spelling and grammar corrected here.
***Sadly usually to be replaced by several more on the same topic angrily swearing about the "frigid bitches who can't take a f__king joke" etc etc

Feeling Ugly? There's An Op For That!

Source HERE

Cosmetic surgery, as far as I am concerned, shouldn't really be allowed. I mean Doctors should actually be banned from performing it, and certainly shouldn't be allowed to make a fuck-tonne of money from essentially exploiting people's insecurities. To clarify, I don't think plastic surgery as a whole is an evil business, I completely recognise the need for it to exist to allow people to have re-constructive surgeries, corrective surgeries and a whole spectrum of other, completely valid reasons requiring a plastic surgeon. The (MASSIVE) part that I have a problem with is the large proportion of operations to "fix a problem" that doesn't need fixing. People who have plastic surgery for the sake of having plastic surgery; doctors who willingly pump poisons into their clients' foreheads, women who want to have the biggest boobs in the world.
 I think that there is far too much weight placed on surgery as being a "quick-fix" and as being the solution to all your insecurities. Too fat? Gastric band. Lost the weight too quickly? We'll slice off all that unsightly flabby skin. Don't like the shape of your nose? Let me just take a chisel to it, and you'll be right as rain in 6 weeks time. Surgery is a HUGE undertaking, it's not something to flippantly decide on whilst sitting in the hairdressers one day. It's not a quick fix and it is certainly not the solution to all your unhappiness. There's a growing trend in today's society that says if there is something you aren't happy with, you simply change the thing. I personally think that if there's something you aren't happy with you should first try to change the way you think about the thing. (For example, see my post about feeling beautiful in yourself). I think if someone wants to drastically change their body by undergoing cosmetic surgery then they should have to undergo a rigorous course of counselling and therapy beforehand. Like each procedure should come with a mandatory 6-12 month course of trying to make people feel better about themselves before they have it done, with the aim of them not getting it done at all.*
All cosmetic surgery leads to is a desire for a perfection that can never be achieved. How many people stop at just one procedure? How many in actual fact go home and go "OK, great, now my boobs are perfect but the rest of me just doesn't add up. I think it'll be a tummy tuck next." People make cosmetic surgery shopping lists and then spend a fortune getting them all done because they think it will make them feel beautiful. Feeling beautiful does not come from being surgically crafted into societies' idea of perfect, it comes from being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself. No amount of silicone and surgery can give you that, it has to come from you-by looking in the mirror and learning to love yourself exactly as you are-wobbly bits, imperfections, crows feet and all.
You know what I say? Sod growing old gracefully. Grow old ungracefully and let every line on your face show that you had a bloody good time doing it. Let your boobs sag and your wobbly bits wobble and stop striving so hard to be all the things that you're not. Because you don't need a surgeon to make you beautiful because you already are.

-Jenni-


*I realise, sadly, this will never happen due to the fact that it would not make anyone any money except some very happy psychiatrists. The surgeons would revolt!

On The Flip Side

It occurred to me the other day just how often I say the phrase "it makes me want to punch them in the face". I don't think I am a horrible person, I just get annoyed really really easily, at all the little things that probably shouldn't matter. And really, everyone does from time to time, don't they? When you're having one of those days when it feels like the whole world is against you, it's really easy to get annoyed at those little things. Once a month or so, I do a list of some of the awesome things in my life, the little things that really make your day when they happen to you, but I was thinking about the other side, the things that just get on your nerves and make you grit your teeth, roll your eyes and grumble under your breath. A friend of mine joked that she was going to buy me the web-domain of Ihateeverything.com for my birthday, because I could easily fill a site like that with slightly ranty things. But instead, I'm going to do a similar post to my Awesome Things ones, only full of all those little things that are too annoying to warrant a full blog post of their own. Nothing important, nothing major, nothing life changing, just the tiny little, but still really annoying things.

Number 1: Two different types of music playing at the same time.
Drives me maaad. I can't focus on either one of them, but instead they mash together and just become awful awful noise. Aaaaaah!

Number 2: The limited number of adverts online TV providers have.
I realise that you see less adverts online than you do on the actual tele, and I'm not complaining about that. What I don't like is the fact that you can watch a show with 3 ad breaks, and watch the same four adverts in each one. It's not like you have long enough to get up and go to the loo in the break, so you have to suffer through them each time. It'd be so much better if you could have a little bit more variety, if only so I don't have to watch the same actress be amazed at the effects of her toothpaste*, or hear this guy say "yes some lovely sandwiches" again...

Number 3: People who cough/sneeze on public transport without covering their mouths.
Bler. You make me feel ill, and I can't physically hold my breath long enough to not get your germs. STOP IT, IT'S GROSS, STOP IT NOW.

Number 4: Small children's toys EVERYWHERE.
Seriously, I tread on at least one thing a day. And the whole of my house from about waist-down-height is sticky! It's HORRID. Eugh, children. No-one will ever be able to convince me that I would enjoying having some of my own.

Number 5: THIS.

Image source here

I mean WHAT? Why? Who the hell decided to make a fictional, computer generated meerkat an advertising point? Why are they STILL DOING THIS? At first, it was (And I totally agree) innovative and different and a bit fun. Now it's just annoying and ridiculous. They are selling adults insurance by offering them a free cuddly toy. It's madness. C'mon Compare the Market, Go Compare got the message that everyone hated their ads, time you do too. 

Ahhhh, that feels better. Time to stop stressing now and relaaaax.

Tata!


*NB Don't get me started on toothpaste adverts, they're full of pretend science and REALLY annoying. Does it clean my teeth? Yes. Does it taste of mint? Yes. That's all you need to know.

Mind Your Mobile Manners

Or 'How not to be another dick with a smart phone'.

I recently caught up a little bit with the modern age when I inherited my Dad's old touch screen phone, as my beloved flip phone had started to fail a little in its old age (sob!). When I rang up Orange to tell them I had a new phone the woman seemed very surprised that I didn't want to add an internet tariff to my bill, going so far as "Well if you do you can go on Facebook for free rather than it charging you". I assured her that this won't be a problem and she sounded very weirded out by the fact that I use my phone as, primarily, a phone. I don't care if I can't get on the internet on it, I like to be able to phone people and text people and that's all I really need. Sure, it's nice to be able to take photos and have a calculator in my pocket too, but I mainly use my mobile as a communications device. Shocking, I know. I really don't like this smart phone culture, where you need to have everything in your pocket all the time, and be able to instantly access YOUR ENTIRE LIFE through your phone. You don't. I have so many pet hates when it comes to the way people use their phones, and I know I'm not alone because I've read blogs like this one before. I'd like to lay them out here so you can nod along in silent agreement too.*

Don't play music on your phone in public, unless there is a specific reason for you to. This mainly seems to apply to chavvy types around the ages of 12-16, but they are ALWAYS on my buses. I don't want to hear whatever passes for music these days, especially not if I can hear it OVER MY HEADPHONES. If I am listening to my mp3 player then I shouldn't be able to hear Rhianna's latest tune blaring out over the top of my own music. And even if I am not, it's rude and inconsiderate and downright annoying. Stop it, stop it now. 

Don't leave your phone switched on (even if it is on silent!) in the theatre or cinema. And if you do have to, leave it in your POCKET/BAG! I once sat through a whole film in the cinema with the two surly teenagers next to me on their phones the whole time. They weren't even looking at the screen, just down at their laps. Why pay to get in if you aren't going to enjoy it? Plus for the people sitting nearby, the lights emitted by the fairly sizeable screens were a persistent distraction throughout the whole thing, which somewhat spoiled it for me as well. And it's even worse in a theatre. You're supposed to be enjoying this most ancient of art forms and losing yourself in the magic of the story, when actually you're just annoying EVERYONE around you. Just switch it off and allow yourself to be un-contactable for 3 hours. If that's too hard, just wait til the interval, the world won't end.

You really don't need to have Facebook/Twitter on your phone. Stop tagging yourself into every new place you go, stop instantly uploading photos, stop tweeting everything you see on the street. Your friends will survive without updates from you for a few hours, and it might be a novel experience for you to actually live a little, rather than methodically documenting every aspect of your life. A massive pet hate of mine is when, in a lull in conversation, the phones automatically come out and everyone checks Facebook. Can you not bear to not know what's happening in all the lives of your friends for this one moment? Would it not be a bit less rude/a bit more conducive to keeping this living breathing friendship alive for you to not suddenly check your phone as if my presence isn't enough to keep your brain from getting bored, without inputs from your virtual life? It's really inconsiderate and it kills the natural art of conversation-if you stopped speaking to someone you used to exist in easy silence or find a new topic to discuss, but no longer!

If you're at a gig/concert don't film the WHOLE thing on your mobile. Yes I understand you have oodles of virtual storage space that you don't know what to do with. Yes, I know that you want to keep a memory alive of how amazing this evening was-I get it. And I'm not saying don't film your favourite bits, or take photos, but just don't watch the whole thing from behind a 6inch screen. How is that enjoying the music, the atmosphere? That's producing a documentary. You can't even move around to the music because it'll blur. Put it away, we all know that the sound quality will render the song unrecognisable, and I bet the person stood behind you will be grateful too.

Please please turn off the sound of the keys when you type. Having to listen to your text tone every 3 seconds is bad enough, but taptaptaptappytaptaptaptaptapppitytaptap to go with it is infuriating. It serves no function except to annoy other people. Switch it off.

The worst thing is that even though I have listed 5 annoying habits of smart phone users, this is only the tip of the iceberg, there are so many more. And I know that inevitably I am going to have to join the ranks one day, when they stop making decent phones with proper buttons all together. And I'll probably be just as bad as everyone else by then, and we'll all forget how to talk to people properly without having a pair of machines between us, and no-one will ever laugh but will only say "LOL" like a robot. It's like the world is addicted to its technology, and no-one can prise it away. It does make me a little bit sad sometimes. And then my phone chirrups that I have a text and I forget all about it for a while. So yeah, I'm a hypocrite, but at least, for now, I'm not a smart-phone Dick.

-Jenni-

*Or alternatively pour scorn and hatred upon me with your death-ray like eyes. 

Fat Vs Fake

Now I, like a lot of people, love a good documentary, and recently Channel 4 has been giving us some corkers-hoarders (which seem to be the new hot topic at the moment), phone sex, sex toys etc etc. I've watched a lot of them recently (because it's exam time and I should be revising) and enjoyed most of them, which probably makes me some sort of voyeur, but I would rather be a docuphile than a Reality TV addict.
The 2 most recent C4 documentaries I have watched are My Big Fat Fetish and Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys which have both been quite popular, by the sounds of things. Actually, I didn't watch both of them, one of them I switched off after 5 minutes because I was so disgusted in humanity.
MBFF was about big women who love their (overweight) bodies, and model them on the internet to make a living. SL&RG was about girls who extort money out of men so they can afford all the luxuries in life they desire without lifting a finger. And honestly, if I was given an at-gunpoint-choice between one of their lifestyles, I would choose to be a Big Beautiful Woman over a Rinser every single time.
I have absolutely no problem with the BBW movement. More people should love their bodies the way that these women do and have the confidence that they demonstrate. These women are often mocked by society because they don't conform to its norms, but they love themselves and they are happy and beautiful in their own ways so why should we judge them so harshly? Indeed, normal models starve themselves to the point of anorexia so the "it's just not healthy" argument does not ring true in my mind. If they are happy with the way they look and the job that they do then society should just back off and let them do it.
Personally, I have much more contempt for people who just try and get something for nothing in life. As far as I can gather from reading about the programme (Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys) these women get men to buy them things by flirting with them, going on dates with them and offering their friendship. I just don't understand how you can have any sense of pride in a lifestyle that consists of daily extortion because men are suckers for girls with a fake everything.
However, reading the Twitter feeds (#RinsingGuys and #MyBigFatFetish) it's clear to see that while the 'stars' of both documentaries get slated, it's a lot harsher on the fat gals-I even found some people admiring the rinsers, but nearly all the comments on the fat fetish feed were negative/insulting. Again, society dictates that the worst thing you can be as a woman is fat. It just makes no sense to me, that just because they are larger women and showing it off that they are somehow worse people than the girls who just make men buy them the things they want. Society, get a grip on yourself-it's far sexier to be body confident and love the skin you're in, whatever size and shape you are, than to plaster yourself in enough fake tan to change your ethnicity and make yourself up until you don't even resemble yourself any more.
Put it this way, which of these two ladies is the more attractive?

Left: Adele, Queen of Fabulousness, Right: Jodie Marsh Queen of Fakery
Pic sources [HERE] and [HERE]

Exactly.
Love what you got and not what you're not, that's what I say!

-Jenni-

And Another Thing...

I took a gap year before I came to uni, so I am by now quite used to being older than most of the people I am friends with. Indeed, this year I am the oldest one in my student house because no-one else has taken one. But I have started to notice a trend amongst my younger friends that has recently started to get on my nerves: People who are turning 20 complaining about how OLD they are going to be. Twenty is NOT old, nowhere near. Statistically speaking you have at least another 50 years ahead of you, which means that you are not even a third of the way through your life at 20. You also have more than double the years you have lived still to live, so I just don't understand how people can complain at being old.
A common explanation I hear for this is that you feel old because you are leaving your teenage years behind, and that this is a horrible thing, but I just can't understand the logic behind this. Most of the years I spent as a teenager were pretty rubbish-I would much rather be twenty than have to deal with mood swings and spots and angst and heartbreak because that boy you have fancied for years has got a girlfriend and school uniforms and getting bullied and gossip and bitch fights with your friends and making up with your friends again and arguing about which boy from that band that you all love is hottest and PE and emotional rollercoasters and blazing rows with your parents and not being old enough to do anything or being old enough and having no-one to do anything with or being the last one to be old enough and missing out on all the fun stuff and the low self esteem and all the 'firsts' all over again and all the rest of the crap! Ugh, it just doesn't bear thinking about.
Being 20/21 is awesome! You've literally got your life ahead of you to fill with exciting and unknown things. You're stood on the edge looking at the drop knowing that it's going to be terrifying and brilliant all at the same time. Don't waste time complaining about being old-go out and live in every second. If you don't want to feel so ancient than act like a child again-jump in all the puddles and climb tress, run around in circles until you're so dizzy you fall over, blow bubbles. Life will pass you by if you let it, by sitting around moping about being 'old', but just go out and seize the day and see how wonderful it can be!
Personally, I think the thing that people are scared of isn't turning 20 but turning into a proper adult-and I must admit that I can count myself in this category. There's something about being a student that takes you out of the real world, into one where it is perfectly acceptable to take a nap in the middle of the day, where you have no real responsibilities and mooching around in your pyjamas for a day is a completely normal activity, and the thought of having to actually grow up a bit and take charge of your life is a tiny bit of a knee-trembler. Everyone's future is unknown at this moment, that's what makes it so scary to be looking at it. However, I have friends that I went to school with that have got married, have had babies or have babies on the way. To me, these are much more 'adult' things than having to stop being a student and get a job and be a semi-responsible person for the first time. So I reckon if my friends can do these massive life changing things then I must be able to cope with the smaller, albeit still life changing ones.
So isn't it about time we all stopped being scared about getting slightly older and standing on the edge, take a big breath, close our eyes and jump? OK, so maybe this isn't the best analogy for me, knowing that I will never bungee jump in my life (I am far too fond of having my spine in one piece, thanks),  but what I am saying is that we should all just go out there and do awesome things. Don't let a fear of growing old stop you. After all,

  

Life isn't a rehearsal. Live it.

-Jenni-

The Problem I Have With FAT

Fat. Say it to yourself. What sort of images come into your mind? I could bet that some of them are fairly unpleasant.
See, I have a problem with the word 'FAT'-it's far too overused in our society. The worst thing that a woman can be is fat. We live in the fattest nation in Europe (The UK). We're the fattest now than we have ever been. People are terrified of looking fat, of getting fat, of wearing clothes that make them appear fat. Not only is the word grossly* overused, it is also misused far too often.
Now while I understand that lots of people being massively overweight is a problem both for the individuals and on society (health care, resources etc etc), I don't like the way the word fat is used to mean ugly and unhappy-it only ever comes with a negative tag. On all the 'amazing weight loss pill/diet/regime' adverts, you never see the 'Before' woman smiling do you?

Jodie Prenger showing us how miserable it is being fat...
(Plus what a difference that new dress, heels, new hairdo and make up do for you...)

Very rarely are fat people allowed to be portrayed happy with their lot in life-the message is that if you're fat, you should be ashamed and unhappy because it's what you deserve. I mean look how much 'celebs' get slated if they put on a couple of pounds and then go for a walk on the beach.

All I want to say is that fat is not synonymous for ugly. Being fat doesn't automatically make you unhappy or unhealthy. Being fat is definitely not the worst thing you could be. I would much rather be fat and a nice person than thin and horrible. I would rather be fat and comfortable and confident in my own skin than thin and insecure. Fat can be beautiful, fat can be SEXY (shock horror) and just because you are thin doesn't necessarily mean you are more attractive than a bigger person. 

As I have said before, beauty (in my opinion) comes from self confidence and happiness, not necessarily just what you look like. I am fat, but I have a lot more body confidence than a lot of people I know-people who are much thinner than me. I will happily say that I have the capacity to be beautiful** but I know a lot of people who are a smaller dress size than me and couldn't say the same. 

In this beauty crazed world, it really irks me that being thin is the ultimate pursuit, because to be thin is apparently to be beautiful. Why can't it be happiness that makes you beautiful rather than the size of your jeans? People are obsessed with doing anything to not be fat-look how many fad diets and diet pills are out there, and how much money people are making out of this fat-phobia. I really think it's about time the viewpoint changed. People should stop using fat as negative word, and stop making 'fat' the worst thing someone in society can be.
We can't escape it ladies-the average female body is 27% fat (compared to 6% for blokes) and without it we wouldn't have boobs and hips and bums and all the wonderful things that make us sexy women. If you're unhappy with the way you look, try to change your mind before you try to change your body. Learn to love your femininity and all the lumps and bumps and wobbly bits that come with it-your FAT. Wear what makes you feel good and look good, and then what does it matter if you have love handles or a stomach that isn't completely flat or cellulite? They're all the things that add up to make you beautiful.

Being fat is not a bad thing, so just enjoy yourself!

Let's make fat beautiful again!

-Jenni-


*Yes, it was deliberate
**Although not on the days when I have to actually drag myself out of bed, I will admit. Especially when I spend them lurching around like the undead until I get some caffeine. 

Chivalry, Is It Dead & Does Anyone Even Care Anyway?

Some things in life make me cross. Generally being around 'the public' is one of them. (I'm not really a people person). But some things make me more cross than others-today for instance (you knew that was coming didn't you?). I was sat on a train, minding my own business, when it began to slow down to pull into my station. I put my hand on the pole to indicate (so I thought) that I wanted to stand up. All of a sudden the aisle next to me filled with blokes, all pushing and shoving. One of them nearly hit me in the face with his holdall. By this time we had pulled into the station, and I actually couldn't stand up because there was someone so close to my face, and I had no wish to scrape it along some strangers bum just in order to get off the train. It's not like I had masses of stuff (one fairly small ruck sack and a carrier bag), but I just couldn't get out of my seat. And you know something? Not one of the blokes jostling me waited for me to get out before they pushed past me. In the end I just shoved my way past the next person in line, muttering angrily under my breath.
So I ask the question, is Chivalry actually dead?
Now I know my feminist friends are probably going to be reading this in horror thinking "But Jenni, you're an independent modern woman! Why should you want men to wait for you?", and don't get me wrong-I hate the way men objectify and lust over women along with the rest of you. I think far too many men have far too little respect for women as a whole, and it's something that really does need to change.  But I actually find it quite nice when men show a little bit of courtesy towards me. In fairness, I would have been just as cross if it had been women stampeding past me on the train too, so I guess all I wanted was for someone to be polite enough to offer me the chance to get out before them, rather than shoving my shoulder out of the way as if I wasn't there.
But ladies, let me put this to you, as I am genuinely interested in your answers. Say you were walking along a corridor with a man you knew, a friend, a colleague, a boyfriend etc, and he stepped ahead of you to open the door for you and allow you to go through first. Would you feel pleased that he thought of you, or would you feel patronised that he felt the need to help you out? I personally have never felt offended when this happens to me, I see it as more of a compliment really. I don't think he's saying "You are woman, woman cannot open door", but more enjoy the pleasure of having someone do something nice for me. I have never objected if my boyfriend offers to carry one of my bags for me, or when he walks on the outside next to the road so I don't get hit by a runaway carriage. It makes me feel good, coz it's like he is looking after me. I don't understand why people take so much offence to it, personally.


But let me know what you think!
Is Chivalry dead, and if it is do you miss it/think it should come back?

Jenni

Atheists; The New Evangelicals?

As you may know I am at university currently, woop and yay. At university, people join societies to meet with like minded people and to generally have a nice chat about it every once in a while. Also yay. Some of my friends at university are in the Atheist Society. Fine, no issues thus far.
I recently read this on one of their posts: "Child rape by Priests makes me feel physically sick. How anyone can be associated with this disgusting institution by calling themselves a Catholic is beyond me."  
Now this is where I find myself a stumbling block. I have no issue with people being in the Atheist Soc. I can appreciate that like minded people want to club together and chat about the things that they believe in (or not, as the case may be) together. My issue falls in the condemning of other people's beliefs just because of things that people in the organisation did. Don't get me wrong, I think it's deplorable that this has been allowed to happen within the Catholic church, but I don't think that people who worship as a Catholic should be tarred with the same brush. I don't think that Catholicism is a bad thing, and I don't think that anyone has any right to tell someone what they believe and live their lives by is wrong. I am an Atheist, but I don't begrudge anyone their faith. I don't rush up to people in Churches shouting that "God isn't real!" because everyone has to make their own mind and heart up. I totally understand that people draw strength, and wisdom and morality from their religions, and I don't think anyone from anywhere should be telling people that their belief system is wrong. Religions, as a whole, are very good at this. Anyone who believes in anything other than what they teach is, usually, damned. What intrigues me is that in this case it is the Atheists, the very people who go against major religions sort of...acting a bit like one. Evangelical Atheism...the very idea is terrifying.