Boudoir Botherances

Source

Something that's been running through my mind a lot recently is worrying about what The First Time is going to be like when I find a new boyfriend...no, not that (although I have touched upon that subject already, here), I mean the first time I have to sleep-actually sleep-with him.

Now I will be the first to admit that I have weird sleep-related issues-foreign beds always give me problems, as do rooms with the wrong levels of light or sounds. Worst of all though is when I have to share a room, or especially a bed, with someone else. Basically everything about the entire situation of sleeping in a new person's bed for the first time is going to keep me anxiously awake for much of the night. Which is, you know, fun.

It's bad enough that I often struggle to fall asleep in my own bed where everything is exactly as I like it to be, let alone without the addition of a whole handful of unknowns in the form of another person.
For starters there's the issue over the side of the bed-and this is pretty non-negotiable for me-I sleep on the left hand side (if you were lying in it) and that's something that doesn't change. To discover that a potential partner would want to sleep on the same side of the bed as me would be a deal breaker-it would have to be single beds or nothing!

I wish, haha. It actually leads to
irritation and elbowing.
From busyprinting on flickr
although I'm pretty sure it's a
David & Goliath design.

Then there's the fact that I like my room to be dark and quiet-no lights, no noises, especially no clocks that tick. It's a noise that I just can't tolerate and it drives me absolutely barmy until I can't concentrate on anything but the tick tock tick tock echoing around my brain and then I'm never able to drop off. It was always a bug-bear between me and the Ex that I made him turn off his clocks the first time I stayed over at his house, and he never turned them back on again because apparently it was too much hassle. I can cope with lights a little better-but only by wearing a black out sleep mask which isn't the most fetching look in the world. The worst offenders are laptops with blue/white lights that flash on and off slowly-they're so bright that they force themselves underneath my eyelids and they seem to get brighter and brighter inside my head, even with my eyes shut tight. It means that before I get into bed I go around covering up light sources with towels and cushions, earning myself my fair share of dodgy looks as I do.

I also have to confess that I am a wriggler-I toss and turn a lot until I'm ready to fall asleep (always on my left side, with one arm wrapped around a cushion and the other tucked under the pillow, because I am oddly specific about that part of it.) but if I'm sharing a bed with someone I'm conscious that my every movement has the potential to keep them awake. So I try to move as little as possible so that I'm not causing excessive mattress bouncing (not of the fun kind) but then I can't sleep because I haven't wriggled around until I'm comfortable and sleepy and it's a horrible catch-22.
Sadly, this also rules out spooning for me-it's lovely for a while but I can't bear being restricted to one position so after a while I have to free myself and move about. Also I can't stand having people breathing on me so it's not the most ideal position to snuggle up in.*

And on top of all that, there's other people. They bring in a whole host of unknown factors that add to my anxiety about sleeping-especially if they're people I don't even know. It makes me panic to be that vulnerable in front of strangers** and of course, that only amplifies the whole struggling to sleep thing. It doesn't help that my friends have often, and in no kind terms told me that I snore-LOUDLY. It's something that really embarrasses me-I hate the fact that I snore! I have somewhat enlarged tonsils so I can't really help it, especially if I have a cold at the time, but it's a social faux pas that people are not ever so forgiving about-and I can totally understand why-I hate to be kept awake so the thought that I might be keeping other people awake fills me with shame and dread. Ooh and it doesn't half make people cross-if they've had their night disturbed by the cacophonous noise coming out of your face they tend to be pretty grumpy to you in the morning which is never fun. (Mind you I am pretty grumpy myself in the mornings too!)

So yeah, the next poor unsuspecting bloke to end up in my bed is going to have a lot to put up with, but I reckon if he can cope with my irrational inability to sleep near a ticking clock, my insistence on covering up light sources (or my eyes) with something, my excessive wriggling and my horrific snoring then I am on to a winner.
Whether we'll get a good night's sleep though is anyone's guess.

-Jenni-

*The more of this post I write the more I realise just how peculiar I am. I have issues.
**Except if I am sleepy and on a train/bus/in a car. Something about the warmth and the feeling of motion lulls me to sleep every time. On the way home from New Year I slept from London-almost Nottingham on the train, which was obviously full of strangers. Clearly all I need to do to sleep better is invest in a bed on a treadmill...