Shit Just Got Real

Yeah, check me out, I have a degree, innit.

Yesterday I (as far as I am concerned) became a "proper adult"* because I graduated from my wonderful University of Sheffield. This means I unequivocally cannot claim to be a student and more, and really should start pretending to be being a responsible adult. As I have no real idea what I want to do with my life any more,** I don't really have a plan or purpose at the moment that is any more detailed than: 1. Get a full time job in Sheffield. 2. Move back to Sheffield. I am also acutely aware that the small amount of money in my bank account has to last me an indefinite amount of time. I'm normally quite good at budgeting-until-I-get-my-next-loan, but it's dawning on me that there won't be any more loans (at least not any time soon), and that I'm going to have to do something about this sharpish. It's all a bit brown-pants worthy to be honest. All of a sudden I'm having to try to work out what I want to do with my life, when I would much rather still be napping in the middle of the afternoon and exploiting my student discount to its fullest.

And although graduating means I have an actual degree and prospects and all that sort of stuff, I'm also quite sad because it means I have no real reason to visit my favourite city aside from social visits. Don't get me wrong, I fully intend to visit often for purely social reasons, but I don't like the feeling of displacement I get from knowing that I don't have a house there any more, knowing that sooner or later I will catch a train out of there back to my parent's house, which doesn't quite feel like home any more. Just...ugh. I can't help feeling disheartened after the awesome day yesterday that now is where the uphill struggle to be a normal functioning adult has to start, and I can't even find my walking shoes. (Yes, I like taking the analogies too far.)

And yet. I've got so much to look forward to, and so much to be grateful for. Without the help and support of my parents, I wouldn't even have got this degree, because I wouldn't have been able to afford to stay in university. I wouldn't have so many good things happening to me this summer because they are (as my birthday presents) paying for me to go and be in the Edinburgh Festival, a once in a lifetime opportunity,  and part-paying for my holiday to Rome (because my mum wants me to travel the world for her). I'm going to travel to various parts of the country to see friends, and have been offered so many floors to kip on in Sheffield that I can be well kept in happiness for a while. I've applied for a part time job in Nottingham and am waiting to hear back, which might stave off the money demons for a while yet. So yeah, it's definitely not all doom and gloom and terrifyingness. I'm just standing on the edge of the unknown wondering what happens when I jump. But I'll take my hat off to that:

This was fun.
P10, BMS Class of 2012

I'll let you know how it goes,
Jenni Thompson, BSc (Now that's cool!)

*She says as she eats a cream egg and is mildly excited about winning some glittery nailvarnish...
**After having my dreams placed firmly out of my reach (Thank you David Cameron!) and subsequently not actually achieving the right grades to get them anyway...