Sex Education; is it really working?

Found in lots of places but I got it from here
(No-one references the source any more!)

For a long time I have wondered why, if the sex education system in the UK is relatively good (compared to some) we have so many  teenage pregnancies. I've always assumed that these kids just haven't bothered to use any form of protection, in a fit of stupidity, rather than simply not knowing enough about it to help. 

Personally, I've never felt inadequately prepared for sex after sex education. Perhaps this is because I was a bit of a geek and liked to actually listen to authority figures when they spoke, perhaps it's because I had to start thinking about it from a youngish age (when you get your first serious boyfriend at 15 you sit up and take notice of these things) or perhaps it's because I had the helpful insights of a book named 'The Period Book'-I can't remember if it mentioned contraception or not and now I can't find it to confirm this.* Vivid memories of my sex-ed experience include when we got to chapter 7 (Reproduction!) in the Spotlight on Science textbooks we were allowed to move from our boy-girl seating plan and sit where-ever we liked(!) which I'm sure was more interesting than seeing how many of the sperms had faces drawn on at the time. I remember the school nurse telling us about how the 'clinic in town did some lovely passion fruit flavoured condoms' and the whole group of girls mentally going "EWEWEWEWEW!" at the thought of our slightly overweight middle aged nurse STILL HAVING SEX. (Sorry Nurse. I'm sure you were lovely and perfectly entitled to a full and active sex life. I was only about 14!) I also have a horribly accurate memory of being in college studying reproduction and fertility (more from a biology perspective than an sex ed one, mind) and having to watch that video. That video where someone thought it would be a good idea to put a camera on some poor woman's cervix and film her being ejaculated into by, what was at the time, a giant wide-screen penis. Even for someone who was sexually active by this point, it was still far too much information. Especially when it also went on to show (presumably) the same woman giving birth in graphic detail too. Bler. I feel sorry for that kid: teenagers across the country have watched them being conceived, and pushed out of a vagina and subsequently been scarred for life. Or is that just me?

However, I digress. The sex-ed I got at school certainly gave me enough information to begin to choose what I would like to happen to my own body when I got around to contraception myself. I knew the different choices and that some suited other people better than others and, possibly more importantly, that I would never feel safe having sex with only a condom between me and an unwanted pregnancy. Now, of course, I am a lot more clued up, but I think I was pretty all right back then too.

Having talked to some friends and read a couple of wonderful blogs on the subject (over at the Vagenda) it seems that this is not the case with everyone. Friends who went to more religious schools than mine (Mine was C/E but still taught helpful things like Evolution and Sex Ed!) were basically taught not to have sex rather than how to protect themselves. (And of course, being teenagers, if you tell them not to do something they want to do the exact opposite!) Another friend said "If you hadn't got pregnant by year 8/9 in my school you were in the minority." This is clearly a MASSIVE FAILING. (And more worryingly is still a massive failing-1 in 4 pupils apparently still receive little to no sex ed at all.) The way people view it also needs to do a turn around-it's not stripping kids of their innocence and it's not more likely to make them go out and start having sex with everything. And even if it does, they would do so armed with greater knowledge about contraception and keeping themselves safe, how can this be a bad thing?

Kids need to have an open and frank discussion about sex because they're so curious and there's not a lot of places they can get their answers from that aren't going to skew their mindset a little.

Kids need to be taught more than just the ins and outs (pun completely intended) of sex too. They need to be taught that straight, gay, bisexual and transgendered people are all normal and natural, plus all the other inbetweens. They need to know that there is a whole spectrum of relationships they can have and that not all of them just boil down to which part goes in who and where. They need to be encouraged to explore the emotions surrounding sex-they need to be told that sex and love often get tangled up in messy, complicated ways (and that's fine!) but that sex doesn't necessarily equal love. They need to be shown that it's not about gaining notches in the bedpost but a shared experience between two consenting people that they should only enter into when their emotions are ready as well as their bodies. They need to be told that wanking won't make you go blind and yes, girls can get in on the action too. It should be impressed upon them that they shouldn't have a baby without being emotionally, financially and physically ready for it, and that if they're not any of those things they should be given advice on abortion and why it doesn't make you a murderer or any less of a person if that's your decision. They should be told that if you choose to sleep with lots of people it doesn't make you a "slag" or a "stud" and that everyone's sexual experiences are different and that is definitely OK. And they should be given details on all types of contraception, regardless of religious belief or not-it should be a mandatory thing. These kids can be in charge of their own futures but only if they're given all the right information to begin with. 

And, to be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with this. It's obvious kids need more information to get a proper handle on the big issues of SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS and it's obvious that not many people who are in charge seem to know (or indeed care) about this. Television shows like Channel 4's The Sex Education Show have been trying to make people more aware about these issues and it's a start, albeit a slow one. I've also signed this petition because I think every little bit helps. 

Let's encourage our kids to grow up to enjoy sex, but enjoy it responsibly with a full grasp of all the things they need to know about it first.

It's time to stand up for Sex Education, who's with me?

-Jenni-

P.S This says it all really

*I do remember it leaving me with a sense of foreboding about my 18th birthday where I expected to receive a letter summoning me to a cervical smear in enormous 6-ft high letters and the whole thing would be horrendous. Never happened, thankfully.