No Make Up Monday No-No

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At the start of the year one of my favourite websites-Operation Beautiful launched a new campaign-No Make Up Mondays. To quote their site, 'The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other people to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough... just the way you are!', which is something I really support. It may be cliched, but I know that if you're having a rubbish day and you find something nice written somewhere it can really make you smile. In my life, I've found 2, both at my student's union. One of these was shortly after my breakup, tied to a door handle, put there by the Women's Committee. I picked it up and put it in my purse because it made me feel slightly better in a time where I really needed the little things. It's still there. So while it might not change the world, if it makes one person feel better when they really need a smile, I'm all for it-I've even posted an anonymous note or two in my time.

This new idea though, No Make Up Mondays, I have mixed feelings about. While I do agree with some of the points it raises, I don't agree with the idea completely. Yes I do believe that young girls and women should be encouraged to feel happy in their own skin. I agree that the idea that you don't have to wear make up to be beautiful is something that more people should talk about and take to heart more than they do in our current climate. People should definitely be shown more that you don't need make up to be happy, to be loved, to be beautiful, that you don't have to rely on make up to get you where you want to go in life. But, even saying all that, I don't see make up as the enemy. In previous blogs, I've mentioned that I believe that before you change something about yourself because you don't like it, you should change the way you think about it. Make up, for me, falls rather more into the latter camp than the former. If you feel unhappy with the way you look, but when you put a bit of make up on feel completely satisfied and beautiful, then it's probably doing your self confidence more good than harm. I know people who don't wear a full face everyday, but do wear a layer of foundation to even out their skin tone, or mascara to make their eyes seem bigger or lipstick to add a little colour or whatever it is, and I know that some of these people would feel very uncomfortable going out in public without any make up at all. It's not that it's a barrier, or something to hide behind, but it's something that makes them feel more normal, less self conscious about their looks, more beautiful, and I don't-and won't-begrudge them it. I do think people can wear too much make up-if it's taking hours to put on every morning, even just to go to the corner shop and buy milk, and they have to sleep in it too because they can't let their boyfriend see them without make up on then they have a pretty serious (psychological) problem, but taking their make up away won't cure it.

I think No Make Up Mondays are, overall, a positive thing, but something that's going to be different for everyone, simply because of the nature of it. For people like me, who regularly do No Make Up Monday-Sundays (either because I don't get dressed for a whole week, or because I forget, or simply because I can't be arsed!) it's meaningless. If you're someone who uses make up just to gain enough confidence to feel good about the way you look then the thought of going without it is going to make you uncomfortable, and may be pretty terrifying for some. If you're someone who is already wondering if you wear too much make up, or want to set yourself a challenge, or want to see if anyone would notice, or just want to see what you look like without it then it's definitely something you should try-and I hope it makes you feel beautiful. If it doesn't though, then just don't do it again. While I definitely agree that no-one should feel like they have to wear make up in order to feel beautiful, to be successful, to get a boyfriend or any other reason, they should also never be made to feel like they have to do without too.
Whatever works for you to make you feel brilliant about yourself works for me too.

-Jenni-

Five Minute Fridays

In my insomniac madness the other night when I was searching the corners of the internet for solace in the blog of a stranger or two I happened upon something wonderful-the Five Minute Friday project. Described (rather accurately) as a 'writing flash mob' by the person who came up with the idea, the challenge is to write for 5 minutes only, unedited, unscripted, inspired only by a prompt word posted at midnight on Friday mornings (which is unfortunately 5AM for us Brits!), simply for the joy of writing. Then everyone who's participated link all their efforts to a post and take the time to read and comment on at least one other person's. I think it's lovely-it really unites people in blogging together regardless of the wildly different topics their blogs may normally be on, and there's so many different and interesting posts all inspired by a single word. Some are fictional, some are true to life and some are beautiful, and this is something I want to get involved with. I'm not going to stay up until 5AM every Friday morning so I can do it live with the other participants but I am going to try and devote five minutes of my life every Friday to writing 200 words or so. I'll post some of them, not others, depending on what the prompt is and the post that results from it.

This week, for example, the prompt word is 'Bare'. I've read a few-there's a lot of religious posts about laying yourself bare before God etc etc, there's some about the bare trees of winter, some just about feeling bare without a certain person/object in their lives. Me? I wrote 215 words about being naked, in my usual uncompromisingly honest way. I wonder what they're going to make of me? I definitely don't fit into this community made of mothers and religious folk, I am neither of those things and I am unlikely to ever be. I've read a lot of the 'Bare' entries and not read a single swear word yet-I can only imagine that my posts are going to be heavily disapproved of. But I still want to do it, more because I really like the idea than anything else, it's fresh and it's different and a tiny bit wonderful. Whether my posts go down like a lead balloon or are enjoyed with the humour they're intended to have, it's going to be interesting, that's for sure.

-Jenni-

NB If you want to take part in Five Minute Fridays then all the details are here: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/
The prompts are updated every Friday morning at 12:01 EST/5:01 GMT but the link stays open for the whole week, so you can complete it at any time. If you do, send me a link, I'd love to read your take on it. 

The 4am Blues

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So it would appear that my insomnia is back again, and this time it bought a friend along for the journey-a hefty dose of paranoia and worrying. Which is, y'know, fun. You know those little, niggly things that if you thought of any other time of day you'd swat away like an annoying insect intent on feasting on you? Have you ever noticed how if they sneak up on you when you're trying to go to sleep they become the biggest things in the world? They circle around and around in your brain getting bigger and bigger and suddenly you definitely aren't going to sleep because this is all you can think about and you have no idea how you're going to solve the problem and it's really rather worrying. So I gave up and tried to get out of bed. In the process of doing this I managed to whack my knee pretty hard on* the side of the bed which left me writhing in agony and swearing like a sailor for a while. Once this had subsided from a raging fire to a dull ache (and a lovely bruise), I again attempted to stand up. Bearing in mind that I live in an attic, bearing in mind that my writhing had left me in a slightly further back poisiton than I thought I was and bearing in mind I have low beams at just about head height you can probably guess what happened next. By this point I was already over tired and emotionally frought and the bang on the head was enough to tip me over from in control to emotional wreck. It didn't even hurt that much, but I was fighting back the tears all the same, and just felt a bit shitty about everything.
This time last year I would have had a friend on another continent who would put up with me being miserable at her for a bit and then generally make me feel better by balancing things on her head. It was the only time when the time difference between here and Australia wasn't a bitch to navigate, when I was having a 5am meltdown and she was calmly sitting there in the middle of the afternoon just being strange to me to make me smile. Nowadays she's back residing in RightWayUpLand and so is currently asleep like most normal people are at this time of day, which is wonderful, most of the time, but leaves me bereft of a cheerer upper at times like this**.
So what's an emotional, close to tears and in need of a friend girl to do at 4am when everyone else is slumbering? Answer: Turn to the internet.
Somehow I stumbled upon some wonderful blogs. And I read them, and they made me giggle a little (especially this one) and then I felt better. Much better in fact. It's like there's this whole network of people all talking to each other-maybe not directly, but through their blogs. Whatever problem you're having, someone else has had it too, and written about it in their own little corner of the internet just so you can read it and feel relieved that you're not alone, that there is a solution, that it's really nothing to worry about really. It's a really supportive and awesome community, that of the blogging peeps, whether they are directly talking to you on Google+ (I Google+ now, Google+ is cool.) or whether it's just putting out awesome blogs designed to put a smile on your face. Either way, I'm pleased that I am a tiny little part of it.

And to all my fellow bloggers,
THANKS. YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

-Jenni-


*I'm glad I proof read this. There was originally no space between hard and on. I would just like to clarify that I did not knock my knee on a hardon-there's scarce few of those in my life at the moment and if one came along I probably wouldn't take my knee to it. Well...not straight away anyway.
**Something which I don't attribute any blame to her for, because I can almost guarantee I've just made her feel guilty about it. If so, sorrysorry. It wasn't meant that way, I'm tired and it's silly AM and I'm writing a blog post coz that's what I do now.

How Rude!

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Have to confess to a slight confession with the Cheezburger sites,
but when I saw this I knew it was perfect for this post!

People nowadays no longer seem to care that manners are important and that it's courteous to other people existing around you in the world to not just consider yourself in everyday situations. I mean I know we all have bad days where we just completely hate everyone else in the world, but even then, when I'm striding down the street eminating fury out at all the people around me, if I bumped into someone (for example) I'd still instantly and instinctively apologise to them simply because it's rude not to. If someone is walking behind you through a doorway and you don't hold it but allow it to slam back in their face then you're a bit of a nob unless you were genuinely oblivious to their presence.

I think it's worse in the work place-I was lucky enough not to experience this at the theatre but if I get the bar job I applied for last week I almost certainly will do-when "the customer is always right" attitude becomes "the customer is going to be rude to you because you're merely there to serve them and they're always right". Another of my favourite internet procrastination sites is http://notalwaysright.com and it has a lot of stories of customers being uneccesarily rude to the people who were serving them, which seems to be a sad fact of life now- if you work in any job that involves dealing with the public then at some point someone is going to be discourteous to you just because they can. It's so uneccesary-what do you get out of being rude and insulting to someone when you could have smiled and been polite? The people who work behind the till are just as deserving as a kind word and a grin as anyone else, and if you do something stupid or rude then an apology is surely always warranted. 

It's not just at work though-more and more I seem to notice people being really rude in daily life, in various situations:

Example 1: I was at Derby train station, trying to find a seat in the waiting room to get out of the cold. All the seats were taken bar one, which a woman was using as a resting place for her carrier bag which had two books in. When I asked her to move the bag I got such a look of contempt from her, as if I'd just done her a huge injustice by asking if I could sit on the seat rather than continue to allow her to use it as a table. Admittedly this isn't too inconsiderate because she did move them for me, but the very fact she seemed to resent me for asking felt a little rude to me. They're BOOKS. They definitely don't need a seat to themselves.

Example 2: I was lucky enough the other day to be catching a bus at school kick out time, which was FUN.  Normally I'm content enough on buses with my headphones in and a good book, and this was the case here too, until some teenage (not by much, they were probably 12/13ish) lads got on and sat on the back seat behind me. One of them pulled out his mobile and a SPEAKER and proceeded to play his (IMO awful) music very loudly for the whole bus to hear. I took my headphones out and turned around to him and said (these are almost my exact words): "Look, I can hear that through my own music, can you turn it down please? Have a little respect for the other people around you."
What I got back was basically a mouthful of abuse so I stuck my headphones back in and tried to ignore him. Luckily he got off a couple of stops later after giving me the finger and then pressing every bell he passed on the bus just to piss the driver off. A really pleasant young lad, I can tell you. 

Example 3: This one actually happened to a friend of mine, who related it to me through angry text messages later that day. She was at work and there was a woman on the phone in front of her, although standing slightly out of the queue. She called the next person forwards and a man stepped up to her, at which point the woman on the phone started yelling angrily that she was next, not him. He responded with "well you were on the phone so I assumed you weren't waiting" before letting her take his place at the counter. Apparently she remained on the phone throughout and was incredibly rude during the time which my friend was serving her, before storming out and slamming the door so hard that apparently the whole building shook. 

And what purpose does it serve? All it does is make people who are just trying to do their jobs or go about their daily lives upset or angry because no-one gives a shit any more. It makes me sad that we live in a society where this is OK, or even normal. What's wrong with being nice to each other, what's wrong with treating people with a little politeness and courtesy every now and again? Just because you don't know someone personally doesn't mean you shouldn't treat them like a person. 

What do you think?

-Jenni-

30 Posts of Truths

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I came across this list of blog post ideas on http://parlezvousmoo.com and it really struck a chord with me-a while ago I said I wanted to make my blog posts more honest, more personal and this seems like an interesting way to do it. Sometimes I can't think of anything to write about but still want to write something, and this is a way of feeling inspired. Plus a little introspection now and then can't hurt, can it?

The List

Part 1 - Something you hate about yourself.
Part 2 - Something you love about yourself.
Part 3 - Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Part 4 - Something you have to forgive someone for.
Part 5 - Something you hope to do in your life.
Part 6 - Something you hope you never have to do.
Part 7 - Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Part 8 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Part 9 - Someone you didn't want to let go of, but just drifted.
Part 10 - Someone you need to let go of, or wish you didn't know.
Part 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Part 12 - Something you never get compliments on.
Part 13 - A band or artist that has got you through some tough days (write a letter).
Part 14 - A hero that has let you down (letter).
Part 15 - Something or someone you couldn't live without (because you've tried it).
Part 16 - Something or someone you definitely could live without.
Part 17 - A book you've read that changed your views on something.
Part 18 - Your views on gay marriage.
Part 19 - What do you think of religion or politics?
Part 20 - Your views on drugs/alcohol.
Part 21 - Something that changed your life and at the time you didn't know how.
Part 22 - Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.
Part 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life.
Part 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Part 25 - An honest letter to your younger self.
Part 26 - What's the best thing in your life right now?
Part 27 - What's the worst thing in your life right now?
Part 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant. What would you do?
Part 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself and why.
Part 30 - A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I almost certainly won't do them all and I might not do them all in the right order but I will try and do most of them because sometimes I need to think about these things more than I do. The eagle-eyed amongst you will noticed I've already changed a couple from the original list because the originals didn't really fit well with me. You, my dear readers, are not obliged to read them, but if you do you'll probably find out things about me you didn't already know. That's what I hope to discover, at least- a new side to myself.

-Jenni-