30 Posts of Truth-Part 15

Part 15-Something or someone you couldn't live without (because you've tried it)

I kind of hate myself for this but one think I don't think I could live without any more is The Internet. I'm loathe to admit it but I am a true child of the 21st century and am more than a little addicted to being able to access everything all the time, in my pocket. I don't like being without my Facebook and Twitter and blog-reading what my friends have been up to and telling them my news in return, of tweeting nonsense in under 140 characters, of spilling out my thoughts for other people to read. I've noticed that it's got especially bad since I joined the ranks of smart phone users late last year-I'm constantly finding myself checking for wi-fi signal. I'm hoping that I haven't quite turned into a smart phone dick (although re-reading that post I do have to cringe at what past me would say to present-day me now!), but I have found myself on occasion being guilty of losing track of real life conversations while my brain processes virtual ones-oops!

It's going to be interesting over the next few days because I will be moving into a flat that doesn't yet have internet, and so I am going to have to do without. I'm hoping that some time offline might give me a chance to start weaning myself off it a little, as it has been my biggest companion in the past year, but now real life is beckoning me. We shall have to see how well this goes, haha.

And for all that the internet has a hold over me, I can't begrudge it too much because it's a great way for me to keep in touch with all my friends, whether they be in a different city or a different country-a facebook message here and a tweet there makes the world feel like a much smaller place, and sometimes, that's no bad thing.

-Jenni-

As I mentioned, I will be moving house tomorrow (Eee!) so this blog will probably be silent for a week or so, until I find my feet. And get internet back again, of course! I'll see you all then.

Also the savvy-eyed amongst you will notice that I've skipped one of these posts but that's because #14 was just proving too difficult to write, and life is too short sometimes!

Putting The 'Living' Back In My Life

So on Monday the thing I've been wanting for so long finally, finally, happens. After viewing what feels like hundreds of houses-some of them nice, some of them not so nice-after being repeatedly turned down or just never contacted again, after getting my hopes up only to have them dashed, I am finally moving back to the city that possesses my heart, the place that is home more than anywhere else for me.

While on the one hand, I'm elated because this what I've wanted to do basically since I graduated, I'm also a little bit terrified! This move represents me MOVING OUT-actually leaving my parent's house for good and never (hopefully) going back again-and that's pretty scary. For while I know that there will always be a place for me here, it will cease to be my home, my sanctuary, my safe place. I've lived here for my whole life (except when I was at uni) and I've done so much within these four walls-I've laughed, I've loved and I've cried-and now I'm saying goodbye. After this, it'll never quite be the same again, coming back here, the balance will have shifted slightly and I'll always be a visitor rather than someone who lives here. It'll still be the same old house but nothing at all will be the same. It all feels a bit strange somehow, to be leaving.

This move also means that I am going to have to join the ranks of what I've been referring to for the past year and a half as "real people"-people who have a job and pay rent and bills and who are entirely responsible for their own lives. I'm going to have to finally be a grown up and do all of these things for myself rather than spending my time in my pyjamas watching tele. And again, one part of me is relishing the idea of all that independence and autonomy, and the other half is scared because this all means I'm stepping out without a safety net, no parents to help me out this time, it's all on me.

It's fair to say I'm having somewhat mixed feelings about everything. Overall though, I have to say I'm excited because it means I can finally kick start my life again. I can start to do all the things that have been on hold almost since I left uni-I can get back on stage, I can pick up my bass lessons again, I can live again and really start to enjoy life again. I may not have a job yet but I've already found a choir to join and some auditions for a show and I'm making so many plans. I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation or something-blinking into the sunlight of a new world full of prospects (hopefully), a myriad of fun things (definitely) and the realisation that I never have to leave my favourite place behind me again, that's it's finally my home for real as well as in my head.

As M-People said*, "I'm moving on up, I'm moving on out!" and overall, I really can't wait to be back!

-Jenni-

*check out the 90s floppy hair! Oh nostalgia...

Five Minute Fridays-Visit

It's been a while since I've done one of these posts but I had a few moments to spare today, and the prompt sparked a flash of inspiration in my head, so I've joined in today-hurrah!

A reminder-5MF is a kind of writing flash mob-people write for five minutes on a prompt word given on the 5MF blog page. The idea is to focus on the writing and leave it unedited, as it falls out of your head and onto the page in the five minutes you're given. It's kinda fun, and makes your brain work =)

Visit

I don’t like the fact that my city is no longer my own, that I can only visit it and it’s not my home. It feels weird knowing so many streets and houses and places in somewhere that you don’t live in, even though you feel like you should do. Every time I step out of the train station and see the shining fountains and the soaring buildings around me, I feel my heart lift a little, knowing I’m home again, and I always hate having to say goodbye. Getting on a train and pulling away from a place I love so well means I always leave a little bit of me behind with me, because I never want to go. I have been trying to move back there since September and have had door after door (sometimes quite literally) close in my face. I thought I’d found somewhere in early December, a nice room in a nice house in a nice area sharing with nice people, and I was elated to think my city was finally going to be mine again. Three weeks later I found out the nice room had already gone to some other nice person, and no matter how nice the people were they could no longer help me. Honestly, I was pretty heartbroken as I watched my home slip further away from me, and it makes | you think like you’re never going to get back, like you’re asking for something unobtainable, like you should give up and try and love the somewhere else you currently live as much, as if you ever could. But I keep visiting, and my city always welcomes me back, and I keep leaving pieces of me behind myself when I do. Maybe if I leave enough then somehow by osmosis I’ll get there again someday. I can always keep hoping, and always keep visiting.

| denotes where my 5 minute alarm went off

If you want to know what Five Minute Fridays are all about/take part yourself then more information can be found here: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

My posts are all here: Five Minute Fridays

An Open Letter To Katie Hopkins

Dear Ms. Hopkins,
                              Hello. I used to like you, way back when, Katie. When you were on The Apprentice I thought out of everyone in your series you deserved to win the most, had the best ideas etc. I still think you should have done to be honest, maybe then you'd be spending too much time on your important, highly paid job to crop up across our TV screens and in our magazines being a judgemental bigot.
See, I just read your article 'Being A Size 16 is NOT Okay' which I am loathe to link to because I know each page view is money in your pocket. (Sorry readers, if you want to read it, google the title!)
You have some very interesting things to say on the subject, such as:

"Fat people are always unhappy with their weight. Show me a happy fat person and I will show you someone beaten by Maltesers. Most are so afraid to take on a battle with their weight they would rather lie to themselves and find an excuse."

I should probably tell you now that I am fat. Fatter still than those women that you are relentlessly shaming in your article-I am a size 18-20. So I expect that in your mind I am chronically depressed over just how fat I am, because my entire happiness in life boils down to what size jeans I wear, right? Well, Katie, you couldn't be more wrong because I'm pretty darn happy. Actually, more than happy (you might want to brace yourself here), I look in the mirror and I like what I see. I think I look pretty awesome, actually. And I know you won't believe me, that you think I'm just deluding myself because "In our hearts we know that slim is better." but I have to disagree-I look great and I don't think losing 4 dress sizes could possibly make me feel any happier about myself.

 It is true that a lot of fat people are unhappy with their weight, but do you know why that is Katie? It's because there are so many people like you out there who are dictating who has a right to happiness and telling people how they should look in order to obtain it. It's difficult to be fat and happy when every single day you see or read things that are designed to make you feel ashamed of yourself, to hate the way you look because it's not "normal, the same as everyone else"-again your words. I don't think you mean 'normal' Katie, I think you mean 'different from you' and if that's the case then I wholeheartedly celebrate my 'abnormality'-because I hope to never be one iota like you!

I for one think it's brilliant that Debenhams are displaying size 15 models in their shops because it helps to reinforce the fact that beauty isn't just 'one size fits all'. We're all different-we don't conform to your narrow minded chocolate-box idea of beauty-where we're all the same size, wearing the same clothes, styling our hair the same way and smiling the same Stepford wives smile.

So I too have some advice for those ladies who are wavering on their New Year's Resolutions-but it's slightly different to yours! Ladies, don't let anyone tell you what size you "should" be to be happy, don't let anyone tell you that you need to lose weight in order to be "normal". If you are healthy, if you like what you see when you look in the mirror, if you love yourself, then no-one can tell you to be any different. And if you're not happy, then sure, diet, exercise, lose weight if you think it will make you feel better about yourself, but don't just do it because some judgemental, small minded bigoted person told you to. You are so much more than a number in your jeans, and your happiness levels should not be tied to that alone.

Katie Hopkins, you can take your unwanted opinions and crawl back under the rock you came out from, you're a pretty horrible person. I would definitely rather be fat (and loving it!) than be as judgey of other people as you are.

-Jenni-

Awesome Things IX

Hello lovelies! I thought I'd kick my 2014 blogging year off with one of these posts because I really like them, they make me kinda happy-and it's always nice to recognise the little things every once in a while!

-People buying your stuff on eBay
Now I don't know about you but I have heard that eBay can get addictive, but for me it's not in the way you'd think. I love selling stuff-endlessly refreshing to see if there are new bids and secretly willing that all the people 'watching' your item are going to want to buy it before it ends. It's an excellent way of getting rid of stuff and making money, both of which are kinda awesome.

-Coming to the tin of Christmas chocolates when it's nearly empty and discovering one of your favourites still left
For me? Strawberry creams, every time. Nom.

-Having the perfect number of something by coincidence
There's just something very pleasing about this-whether it's the perfect number of sweets to divide evenly between you and your friends or the perfect number of hooks to hang a curtain or what ever it might be. When there's exactly the number you needed and you didn't even have to try, it feels good.

-Buying someone something that they love
I really like getting presents for people-I like picking them out something that I think they will love and buying something that'll be really personal to them. It's such a good feeling when you give them their gifts and their faces light up as they open it, or when you see them using them all the time, or when you just know that they love them as much as you hoped they would.

-Bubblewrap
Pop. Pop pop pop. PoppoppoppoppoppoppoppopPOP. So much fun!
In case you haven't got any to hand, here's some virtual bubblewrap for you to enjoy, just because I'm nice ;)


Until next time,

-Jenni-

Previous Instalments: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Autumnal Edition

It's Been A Funny Old Year

This time last year I was sitting writing my end-of-year post and said "In 2013 I hope to get a "proper job", move out of my parent's house and into a space of my own and get my life safely back on the road to adulthood. I want to get back on stage and sing and do all the things I love again. Maybe even find a new boyfriend but for once it's not something I'm giving a high priority to. I'm going to have a kick ass awesome birthday to make up for this year's massive flop." and yet here I am, a year later, still sitting in my childhood bedroom and as unemployed as ever. In many ways, I feel like my life has been on hold this year because I've not really done anything with it-I've barely been on stage, I've not worked, I've spent a lot of money but don't have a whole heap to show for it!

[Source-Open Clip Art Library]

At times it's felt like someone's placed me on pause, in a timelock, and that my life only exists when I leave the house and go and do something, and this is something I'm going to work hard on changing next year.

2013 was the year of travelling around the country to visit various friends in their various houses, it was the year of me going on the dole, spending a few months feeling humiliated and worthless and then coming off it again, it was the year I got more into blogging than I ever have been before-across two entirely different blogs, no less, and I have enjoyed making many a new virtual friend. I found myself some penpals when I had nothing to do with my time and have loved sending letters across the world to some virtual strangers, as well as exchanging lots of postcards with lots of others. I've seen lots of good theatre, even if I haven't been in much, and I've laughed a lot. I did have a kick ass awesome birthday-in fact, I had two, and Christmas this year was also really brilliant. I've visited Sheffield hundreds of times and often felt home sick when I had to leave. I've also spent a lot of time not doing anything  at all but sitting at home in my pyjamas and I am more than a little sick of it. I've been to visit lots of potential houses/rooms in my beloved Sheffield and got turned down time and again-until I found somewhere that was perfect in late November. I was looking forward to moving back and kick starting my life again until I found out that that particular door had been cruelly slammed in my face too. I am now more determined than ever that in 2014 I will get back up there, and things are going to get better than they are now.

2013 was also the year that I, quite unexpectedly, fell in love all over again. I was never really looking for romance but it came along anyway and has taken me by surprise-it's reminded me how fun falling in love is, how awesome it is to have someone wonderful who cares about you and just wants to spend their time with you. I honestly can say I feel like a teenager again-it's been all fireworks and butterflies and blushing cheeks and stolen kisses. I found someone who thinks I am wonderful just as I am, who doesn't want to change me into someone else, and who isn't afraid of holding my hand in public, and for me at least, that's pretty incredible. Relationship-wise, I'm the happiest I have been in some years and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things stay this good for a while. I realise this is turning into a bit of a soppy blog, and I apologise for that, but I'm just happy and contented, so please don't hold it against me too much.

So I can't really completely write 2013 off as a reject year. I've had my low moments, and have done nothing to progress my life further in any way but I've made some good memories too-with my friends, with my boyfriend, I've seen bits of the country I've not seen before and done some things I probably won't do again, and I think I've finally worked out what I want to do with my life...eventually. I've read lots of books, and have started a reading challenge, meaning I've got many more to read in the future-always a good thing. I'll be spending New Year's Eve surrounded by Light Entertainers (the very best of people) once again, and for the first time ever I have someone to kiss at midnight, which I intend to take full advantage of.

So long 2013. Hoping 2014 is full of more opportunities and things finally going my way so I can start living again.

See you next year!

-Jenni-

A Minor Win For The Grammar Bandit

My friend turned me into a Meme because she's
basically awesome.

I'm always amazed when walking down any street with shops on to see how many grammatical errors I encounter-and the number is always remarkably high.What I don't understand is this-how on earth can so many people get so many things wrong? It's not like we haven't been taught it-we were! At primary school at the very least, and they were probably reiterated to us many times throughout our lives, so how difficult can it be? If you have a spelling or grammar error in a sign in the window of your shop-or worse, in the shop sign itself-it speaks to me of laziness and lack of respect for your business. It just doesn't feel very professional to me, is all. I mean these days it's not even really that hard to check with spell checkers and wiggly green lines and ALL OF THE INTERNET at your disposal, so it just comes across as laziness or stupidity on the part of the sign writer. I know I'm probably opening myself up as an easy target here, because I'm sure my blogs are full of sloppy grammar, and I know I have a bad habit of over using exclamation marks, but I'm really talking about the simple things that everyone should know, not just those who studied English at higher levels.
The worst offenders by far are apostrophes-people just don't seem to know what to do with them at all! I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen shops offering "tea's and coffee's" or "CD's", and there's even a tattoo parlour near me that proudly declares that they do "Tattoo's"-above the entrance to the shop no less.

This was stolen from Google Earth so it's a bit smushed
together but you can still see the offending apostrophe!

Would you trust someone to ink something permanently into your skin when they can't even get the sign for their own shop correct? No thank you!

Another one I see knocking around a lot is 'smile, your on CCTV' types-and that makes me twitch just to even type it. I'm not really sure where the confusion lies between 'you're' being short for 'you are' and 'your' meaning belonging to you but apparently it's there. Or possibly their, to some people. (Twitch.)

I used to be quite the stickler for it-was constantly correcting people's grammar on Facebook or Bebo (ha!) and the like-and it's something that makes people really mad! There have been numerous times when I've felt bad for correcting someone when they reply with "DYSLEXIC!" shouted back at me, or just had someone get angry with me for correcting them on their own status etc.. (Not, as it happens, ect, which means something rather different!). I've since relented a little-on your Facebook, in text messages etc. you can use whatever grammar you like and for the most part I won't call you up on it, unless you're someone who I know won't mind or should know better. In conversation too-I don't think you should pick on that because everyone has their own way of speaking full of their own colloquialisms and idioms and you shouldn't interfere with that unless you have been explicitly paid to do so. But if you use terrible grammar or make spelling mistakes on your company's website, in a sign on or around your shop, in formal correspondence or any other setting where you're supposed to be showing a professional front-I will judge you. My big mental red pen will come out and I'll start correcting things, if only in my head. Although I did once point out a spelling error in a presentation given to me at a job interview! I will also try to avoid using your business where I can, because I feel like if you can't take the time to get that basic thing correct, what other, more important things are you getting wrong or not noticing?

There is a happy ending to my tale, however, albeit only a small one. The other day I was walking through a shopping centre that had otherwise blank walls decorated with artwork by local children/artists and a short description beside them. As we walked past one of these, my speed reading eyes processed the fact that there was a horrible mashing together of sentences that weren't properly punctuated, and I exclaimed as much to my friend. What I hadn't realised though is that the sign painters were still nearby, and overheard me. One of them asked me to point out the mistake to him so that he could correct it for me. I think what I actually said was
"It needs a comma or something. I mean ideally it needs a full stop but you don't have a capital letter so you can't do that. A semi-colon would be best actually, but if nothing else, it needs a comma!"
He told me he didn't think there would be room for a semi-colon but he'd make sure something got sorted out for me and I went on my merry way.
To my surprise, when I walked past the other day and look there was a semi-colon. My semi-colon! I mean it's still a horrible sentence and would be better off being re-written entirely, but it's much better than it was!

I'm taking that one as one small victory for the Grammar Bandit, though there's still quite a way to go!

*hoists big red pen onto shoulder and walks off into sunset, cape flapping majestically in the breeze*

-Jenni-

Un-common Courtesy

The thing that strikes me about the phrase 'common courtesy' is that it doesn't seem to be all that common any more. From the people who leave their bags on the seat even though the train is full and people are having to stand, to the ones who push their way onto the bus before letting anyone else off, to the ones who fail to hold a door for you despite the fact you're only a couple of steps behind them, leaving it to slam shut in your face. It's not really hard to think of examples of it-it's happening everywhere, everyday. Not many people go out of their way to help a stranger any more, and a lot of people only look out for themselves. It does make me wonder what it is about our modern lives that mean the little kindnesses and courtesies are being forgotten?
Is it because no-one really lives in communities any more-no-one knows their neighbours and the people that live near them so they are less likely to do things for them? Or is it because people nowadays are so busy with life, and if they're not then they have their noses glued to their smart phones and don't notice the world passing them by. I think people don't feel like they can spare the time to help someone else out because their lives are too full of emails and Twitter and Facebook, and there's not much room left for the real world when the virtual one occupies your head almost entirely.
I can't help but wonder if there's more selfish motives too-along the lines of 'why should I do something for someone when it doesn't benefit me directly?' Or if not taking the time to give someone a little common courtesy makes your life a little easier, then why would you do it and put the hardship upon yourself?

It makes me sad though, that this is the world we now live in, where people would rather serve themselves over everyone else, where taking a couple of seconds of your time to do something small for someone else is too much for effort for too little reward. And, let's be honest here, it really sucks to be on the other side of this-to be the person who's had to stand on an almost full train when you've had a long day, to have to break your stride to not get hit in the face by a closing door, to be pushed past and shoved aside as if you're nothing but a nuisance to other people. I've been on the receiving end more times than a few recently-I've been looking for places to live in Sheffield since September and there have been at least a couple of occasions where I've been promised that I'd be contacted by the landlord, only to never hear anything from them again. The waiting and hoping without hearing anything was gradually replaced with just another sense of disappointment. To be honest, I would have preferred to just hear it from them-if they'd given me the simple courtesy of letting me know that the room had been let to someone else rather than leaving me hanging without a definite answer, it would have been much nicer, and the disappointment easier to take. Yeah, I know that it's never fun giving someone bad news, but I think they're going to have a lot more respect for you if you handle things professionally rather than just letting it slide and hope that they get the message.

As I said, it just makes me a bit sad that this is just the way things are nowadays. And I guess the only way to combat it really is to make sure I'm don't become one of those people myself-to make sure I do that little something to make someone else's day run more smoothly, to try and always show a little consideration for other people, even if they're not responding in kind. Who knows, maybe in the spirit of paying it forward someone else might then extend a simple courtesy to a stranger for no other reason than because they're a fellow human being, and we all appreciate the little things sometimes. I'm not especially hopeful though-I reckon I just have to come to terms with the fact that courtesy isn't all that common any more. I guess it's just another sign of the times, ey?

-Jenni-

Barefaced Cheek!

[Source-BBC Website]

Tonight is the annual BBC's Children In Need fundraiser to raise money for children's charities across the UK. I'm not here to pick fault with the event on the whole because I actually take a lot of pride in the fact that as a country, we come together twice a year and give stupendous amounts of money to people who are worse off than we are-it's one of the few truly great things left about Great Britain, I reckon. Every year, the BBC suggests some sponsored events to take part in, and this is where my grudge lies. This year, they're asking women to be sponsored to go 'Bear Faced' for CIN, and I have all kinds of problems with this. The idea is that you forego all make-up (save for a small paw-print temporary transfer) for an entire day, and ask people to sponsor you for it. Ugh, this makes me cross for so many reasons.

Firstly, as I've said before, I'm not really keen on the idea of forcing people to wear no make up-for what ever reason it may be. Some women choose to wear make-up every day for a whole host of reasons personal to them, and I'm not going to judge them for it in any way. I know that for a lot of people, wearing make-up helps them be more self-confident, helps them feel beautiful or just helps them face the world a little better, and I would never want to ask someone to forego that layer of comfort, even for charity. Asking someone potentially feel uncomfortable or unhappy for a day as a way to raise money feels like a pretty dirty trick from the BBC to me. I know that all the money raised is going to good causes, but if it's at the cost of someone's self-confidence, even if it's only for a day, then it's asking too much, as far as I'm concerned.

Secondly, I can't help but feel like this is making an issue out of something that really isn't an issue-it's making not wearing make-up daily seem like a weird, abnormal activity. Considering that this suggestion lies alongside 'wearing your pyjamas to work' and 'sponsored silences', it's definitely placing the not wearing of make-up into the 'abnormal stuff you just wouldn't do all the time' category and not the 'this is actually a pretty normal thing' one-which let's face it, it is! There's already so much pressure for women to look a certain way, so many airbrushed photos telling us that this is what we should be that it's not really all that surprising that women wear make-up. That doesn't make not wearing it weird though-I can't help but feel like this is just one more way to tell women that they "should" be wearing make-up every day if they want to be "normal", and that makes me really cross. Whether or not you choose to wear make-up or not shouldn't make you "abnormal", whereas I feel if you started going to work every day in your pyjamas then you might get talked about. They're not on the same level of behaviour, and I for one am a little bit insulted that the BBC seems to think they should be.

Finally, I just don't think people should be sponsored for not doing anything. I realise this sounds a little contradictory to my first point, so I'll try to explain myself.  Personally, I would never feel comfortable asking someone to sponsor me to not wear make-up, because I might as well ask them to sponsor me to wear pants every day, or remember to brush my teeth. It's something I already do anyway with no thought whatsoever, so how could I ask someone for money for it when I have done literally nothing to earn it?
I know that this is not the case for everyone, and that some people will find the idea of not wearing make-up for a day a huge psychological trial-and they have my utmost respect if they choose to go Bear Faced anyway because that's a big thing for them. But I still feel like they shouldn't have been asked to in the first place-it's way too personal and goes way beyond simply not putting foundation on in the morning. For everyone else, the people like me who are fairly indifferent to wearing make-up, or the people who don't really think they need it, but just like wearing it, this is no big deal at all. It's literally saving you time when you get up in the morning, and I just can't bring myself to sponsor people for doing nothing.

So yeah, Children in Need will still be getting their money from me, but I definitely won't be supporting their Bear Faced campaign. How about you?

-Jenni-

To Blog Or Not To Blog?

You can't fail to have noticed that I have been somewhat absent from this blog in recent weeks-again. I've not posted in over a month for various reasons (which I'll get onto shortly) and I was, for a while in two minds about whether I should continue blogging. Then I realised I'd miss it too much if I gave it up because actually, I genuinely love being a blogger. I just need to make it fit into my life a little better at the moment. I'm going to try to stop feeling bad about not posting regularly or on time and just post things when I want to, when I think of them, when I can-after all it's my blog to run as I please rather than let it control me with posting schedules and deadlines. If it means I am out living my Every Day Adventure more than writing about it from time to time, then so be it.

There are many reasons why I'm blogging less nowadays-firstly I'm happy. I've always struggled to find inspiration and be able to write well when I am in a good place in my life-and sure, it's far from where I would like it to be but the people in it make me feel happy. I've got excellent friends who never fail to make me laugh and I'm falling in love with someone wonderful-so who am I to complain? I've got blog ideas swirling around my brain clamouring for attention but as soon as I try to put pen to paper they shrivel away to nothingness and never turn into something worthwhile. I don't have anything new to post here because my brain won't let me write.
Secondly, this is no longer my only blog-yes I am cheating on this one with another, like a cat who goes to two houses for dinner. That other blog is a million light years away from being a lifestyle blog and doesn't really require me to think, to carefully sculpt words into sentences and craft those sentences into paragraphs and posts. This makes it a lot easier to produce content for, almost without thinking, and therefore it monopolises my time a lot more easily like a spoilt younger sibling pulling a mother away from its older brothers and sisters. This blog will always be my baby, and I know it's content to sit by and let me deal with the attentions of my second before returning, always, to it, with a shrug and a smile as if to say "sorry, you know how it is". I've also discovered a-whole-nother blog community out there, and I enjoy interacting with it a lot-though this again takes up time.
I'm not actually dedicating much time in my life to writing anything at all at the moment-and this is something that I do want to work on. Even if they don't end up being published on here, I want to try and write something every week simply because it's something I enjoy doing-sitting down for a while with a notebook and just scribbling away. I really wanted to get involved with NaNoWriMo again this year but I struggled to come up with a good idea for a story and it just never ended up happening.
Also, it got difficult. The next post in my 30 Posts Of Truth series is something that's not easy to say, so I've just avoided writing about it for the last 5 Sundays. But the reason I began that series was to learn something about myself and tackling the difficult issues within it is part of that, so I will be continuing, although I am going to allow myself a little longer to write them-I aiming for one post every other week. No matter how much I enjoy blogging, I don't want to make it a chore for myself, something I feel obliged to do.

At the end of the day, I need this blog, if only as a place to file away all my thoughts and feelings on my own little corner of the internet, but I don't want to let it take over. I don't want to feel guilty for not updating to a schedule or even at all, so I'm going to do things my way. I will post when I want to, not when I feel like I should, when I've got something to say, when I've managed to bend the words to my will to make what I want to say come out right. And as long as someone keeps reading, I'll keep writing, how about that?

Until next time

-Jenni-

Book 1/65-The Emperor's Children, Claire Messud

I was expecting 'The Emperor's Children' to be a pretty emotional book, bearing in mind that it's set in New York in the Autumn of 2001. I figured we'd be introduced to some characters, get a feel for their lives and then see how they were all changed after the events of the 11th September or something along those sort of lines. It was actually nothing like that at all-for starters you have to read through 500 pages before 9/11 is mentioned at all, and even then it's almost a none-event, a background minutiae in the lives of the book's characters that almost has no impact on them at all.
So what is this book about then? Well...just people. Boring, ordinary, unremarkable people. It's a family and their somewhat spoiled grown up daughter, her grown up friends and their relationships and a cousin who doesn't fit in with their swanky lifestyle. If someone asked me to point out the key events from the story, I would struggle because it's basically 600 pages of nothing at all happening.
The second book I read for this challenge-The Secret History-was also about 600 pages long and, although I didn't really like the characters in it, there was definitely something happening in the story, something I could find and go "There, that's the most important thing that happens in this book". This is not the case with 'The Emperor's Children'. Again, the characters are fairly un-likeable, but they're also quite boring-nothing significant seems to happen to any of them (in my opinion). It's as if someone took a cheap gossip mag and made it into a 600 page book, and I just really couldn't bring myself to care about what was going on. Also I couldn't get on with the writing style at all-Messud has a habit of putting such long winded and rambling sentences in the middle of others with hyphens or brackets that by the time you've read them you've forgotten the start of the sentence and have to go back and read it again.

I dunno, maybe I just didn't 'get' 'The Emperor's Children', maybe it's just not the right sort of book for me-the host of good reviews printed on the cover certainly seem to suggest that not everyone found it as dull and uninteresting as I did, but I am certainly a very long way from agreeing that it's a "masterpiece".
If you like your stories to be about family feuds, about infidelity, about relationships, about enduring friendships and about running away from yourself to become someone new-then you should probably give this book a chance, or at least read it for yourself to see if you agree with me.
If, like me, however, you prefer a book with a bit more substance to it, a book with a definite beginning, middle and end, a book that centres around an event rather than some relationships, then you should probably skip it because you probably won't enjoy it either.

Memorable Quote " It's narcissism, to love a wall and resent it for not loving you back. It's perversity. Love is mutual, it flourishes in reciprocity. You can't have real love without a return of affection-otherwise it's just obsession, and projection. It's childish." -The Fourth of July (3), Pg 373

Awesome Things VIII

This was actually meant to go up yesterday so it was part of September's blogs but I sort of forgot a bit so I'm posting it today instead. So there.
Yes it's time again to appreciate some more of life's little awesome things just because they make you smile and make your day in the smallest of ways.

-Holding a new, empty notebook and imagining the possibilities
Following my previous post I thought this was particularly relevant. There's just something about purchasing a new notebook, when the pages are all pristine and perfect-not curling because you've written on them in biro-that's awesome. When it's just a blank slate before you fill it with ideas and dreams and thoughts and to-do lists to remind you to wash your pants. It's almost exciting-you don't know exactly what it will hold but one day it'll be full of your life and go on the shelf with the rest-you can enjoy its newness, its possibilities for only a short time.

-Taking a chance on the weather and it turning out well
When you decide to leave the umbrella at home and it doesn't rain or you forget your jumper but it turns out warm enough not to need it anyway. Excellent.

-Getting something nice in the post
I don't think this one's just me-everyone loves getting things through their letterbox that aren't just bills or junk mail, don't they? Whether it's that nice thing you bought yourself that's finally been delivered or a silly postcard/letter from a friend, getting something through your letterbox that's actually meant specifically for you to enjoy it is always always wonderful.

-Flirting
Flirting is excellent. Flirting can be so many different things, but all of them are fun-flirting with someone just because that's the type of friendship you have, knowing it means nothing on both sides, flirting with someone you kinda fancy but know nothing will happen about it for whatever reason, flirting with someone in a way that you hope implies "I really want to take off your clothes and do things to you" and hoping that that's what their flirting also means-it's all good clean (mostly) fun. It makes you feel good on a fairly basic level and I heartily encourage it.

-Singing along to all the words with a friend when one of "your" songs comes on
Ah, is there a better feeling than belting out all the words to a song with a good friend as you drive along? I mean you don't have to be driving along even, just the act of singing the songs you've grown up with, or make jokes about, or just love because it reminds you of good times together is brilliant. It never fails to make you feel good, and we could all use a little of that sometimes.

There we go then, another 5 tiny little awesome things

-Jenni-

Previous instalments:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Autumnal Edition

Nothing Else But Words

Can you tell I favour a particular brand at all?

I was tidying my desk the other day (I know-shocking!) and as I was doing so I kept finding notebook after notebook. Some of them are full, some of them are nearly empty, and most of them are in varying states somewhere in the middle. And the thing is I can't throw them away, even the full ones, because they're full of wonderfully personal things that were pertinent to my life at some point, even if they are no longer.I just can't bring myself to casually throw out my thoughts, my words, that I've crafted into something with love and emotion and care-it feels a bit wrong to just chuck them in the bin.

Those notebooks are more like diaries to me, I suppose-if you flicked through any one of them you'd see a slice of my life at the time-a blog post, a poem, a half drafted letter, a to do list. I've never really been any good at keeping a proper diary-finding time at the end of every day to write about what I did always seemed tedious and boring to me, and more often than not the entries ended up dull and uninteresting. Between the pages of these notebooks, though, are little slivers of my feelings trapped on a page forever. If a total stranger happened upon them and read through some of them, they'd get a real impression of me, as if they'd just opened up my head and peered inside.

I've fallen into the habit of taking a notebook and pen everywhere I go so that I can write stuff down if inspiration strikes me-because too many times I have either had to buy one afresh or lost the idea completely without one. Another lives next to my bed so that I don't have to go too far to write down those weird-and-yet-completely-amazing flashes of inspiration your brain gives you whilst you are trying to fall asleep. I've always been some sort of 'writer'-whether that be stories that get started and never finished, angsty poems during my teens, letters to people that (more often than not) never got sent, and more recently blog posts which for the most part make their way on here in one form or another. I actually find it's a really good way to collect my thoughts-write things as if I was writing them to be read, even if I have no intention of that ever being the case. I just don't feel like I can throw these pieces of myself away-I've still got (somewhere) a notebook full of heartbroken letters that I wrote to my very first boyfriend almost 8 years ago, which I don't think anyone's ever clapped eyes on but myself. Even now, in this very notebook that I am writing this blog post in, there are things that I've never shared with anyone, pieces that will probably never become actual posts because they expose me rather too much, emotionally, and I'd always rather say too little than too much. It's not necessarily that I don't want people to read them, but I'm not offering them up for public scrutiny, let's put it that way.

I think it's basically that, for me at least, these notebooks are little pieces of myself, memories pressed between the pages as if they were pretty autumn leaves-and when I flick through the older ones I can still feel a sense of those feelings that are trapped there in black and white. I'm quite sure that I will end up with a shelf full of old notebooks when I am older, dusty from under-use and yellowing with age. But I will I throw them out even then? Not a chance. These pages hold my words, my thoughts, my mind and sometimes my heart. How could I get rid of that?

-Jenni-

The title is taken from this quote, attributed to John Locke: "So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with."

Saying Goodbye To An Old Friend

'Cat' is definitely valid in the scrabble dictionary, right?

A couple of weeks back, we had to take my cat to the vets to have him put down because he'd basically got too old to function properly any more. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a letter telling him how much I'll miss him kind-of-post (I've seen a fair few of these in my time), because 1) He was a cat and therefore was pretty unlikely to read a letter anyway and 2) I can't help but feel like these sort of posts can be a little ridiculous-full of emotion and grief and heartache and, to be honest, I don't really understand.

We got Midnight (aforementioned cat) when I was 6 or 7 so he was a pretty grand age for a moggy, and was showing it. He was half blind, probably deaf and for the past year or so had been becoming more and more decrepit looking as he stopped looking after himself properly-I have no doubts that this was the right thing to do for him.
It's slightly weird to think that he'd been around for 2/3 of my life though-he'd met all of my boyfriends and a lot of my friends,  and left lasting impressions (and by impressions I mean scars!) on many of them, as well as all of my family. He'd put up with horrible children poking and prodding and chasing him for the last few years with a remarkable level of tolerance to say that he'd never really had the nicest temperament and was just as likely to gouge chunks out of your arm as he was to curl up on your knee. He was basically the grumpiest cat in the world, but he was well loved 'til the end. But that's it really. I mean he was just a cat. I don't know if I'm just particularly pragmatic about these things or particularly heartless but I'm really not too sad that he's gone. I mean sure, I keep seeing bundles of dark-coloured-somethings and thinking it's him curled up somewhere until I remember that it's not, and yes, that makes me a bit sad but I'm not heartbroken by it, I'm not all emotional, I'm not grieving. My Dad cried at the vets a few times but my eyes were dry-I felt a little choked up as it happened but otherwise I'm fine about it, really. At the end of the day, he was a pet, not a person-I dunno, it just feels strange to me that people can get so tied up in grieving for an animal. We were asked if we wanted to cremate him, which seemed really ridiculous to me. It's a cat.

It did make me think though-this is the first time I have ever really experienced death on a personal level. I've been lucky enough to get to 23 years old and still have three living grandparents-which I know is something that not everyone is able to claim. My other Grandad died when I was 6 or 7, when I was too young to really care too much. I've never been to a funeral, even, and touch wood I won't have to for a little while longer yet. My grandparents are no longer in the greatest of health, and they, like the cat, are starting to look a little run down, but they're still here-for now. That's what I've really learned from this-that I should thank my lucky stars that the I've never known grief, that the only death I've ever experienced was that of my cat. And I know that this won't last forever, that one day I'll know the sadness of someone I love dying, but I will find a way to deal with that when the time comes. For now I'm just appreciating how lucky I am that all the people I care about are still here, for however much longer that will last.

My cat had a good run and was well loved and looked after, and had a painless end, and really, I can only hope that when the time comes I can say the same for me and the people I love.

-Jenni-

Walking On The Edge

[Source-Open Clip Art Library]

I am not, by nature, an especially spontaneous person. I wish I was-I love the idea of just packing up and taking a random holiday to somewhere you've just picked off a map with no forethought, but that's not the way I work. I like to know ahead of time what's going on in my life and fill my diary up with plans. There's just some part of me that doesn't like the idea of not being completely aware and in control of an aspect of my life like that-which is weird because I wouldn't describe myself as a control freak, really. It's like I've always liked the idea of someone arranging a surprise party for me but I know realistically it wouldn't be possible because I'm too much of a planner-there's no way that if there was an important event in my life I wouldn't have already arranged something for it. Much as I love the idea, I don't think it could ever work, sadly.
It's not like I won't happily take part in spontaneous activities if I'm invited to them because that can be exciting and fun but I won't ever be the organiser of one because I like to know what I am doing too far in advance/in too much detail. It's not ever been a problem for me though, most of my friends are contented to let me overplan excessively ahead of time (I planned my July birthday celebrations in May this year, although I knew what I wanted to do from about February, for instance), and just generally rib me a little for being a bit daft because at the same time I'm rather un-organised in every other aspect of my life.

I've only had reason to think about it recently though, now that I'm dating someone who is basically the exact opposite of me-someone who almost lives his life on a whim. This is a person who regularly goes to stay in London for days at a time with nothing specific to do at all, someone who is contented purely with the idea of doing 'something' rather than turning that 'something' into anything specific. It amused me that even at my most "spontaneous" (deciding to go up to the Edinburgh Fringe only 4 days before actually going), I still managed to draft an hour by hour plan of what I was going to see, plus grid references so I could easily find them on my map whereas he woke up in the morning and pretty much went to see whatever shows his feet took him to. I'm not criticising this at all-I'm a little in awe of people who live their lives this way because I don't think my brain would function like that ever.
Trying to put the two styles of thinking together though is interesting sometimes because I can't help but feel a little bossy, a little like I'm making every decision and he's just going along with it for an easy life. Or else that I am being annoying by trying to plan everything so that I can have a fix in my head of our plans whereas he would rather just sit back and let things happen as and when they will. I dunno.

I'd love to be more like him though-to pack lightly when I'm only going away for a couple of days, to try not to foresee/counteract every possibility, to be content to go with the flow a little more often, without needing to pre-schedule my life in advance. To live dangerously sometimes, to do things without thinking, to take what happens to me without worrying about the what-ifs and maybes-but it seems so alien to my brain. Maybe it all comes from him being a laid back, chilled out Australian type, and me being a more neurotic, uptight British type. I'm hoping I can learn though, even if it's only just for the little things-because I'm still in love with the idea of spontaneity, of acting on whims and impulses, of going where your feet take you. And, ironically, it's something I'll have to work at because I will have to quell my natural instincts to plan everything out beforehand, resist the urge to ask 'what do you want to do next week?' and put my diary away for a bit. But it can't be a bad thing to try, really, can it, because everyone needs to let go every once in a while, right?
I'm going to try to try new things unhesitatingly, I'm going to try and say yes instead of no every so often, I'm going to try to plan a little less and live in the moment a little more.
I'm going to try walking on the edge for a bit, without wondering if I'll fall.

-Jenni-

Awesome Things VII

-People who go above and beyond to give fabulous customer service
The other day I went into a branch of Subway and caught the guy behind the counter rocking out to Bon Jovi's 'Living on a Prayer' which was on the radio. He noticed me standing there and looked up sheepishly to find me grinning at him. Whilst he was making my sandwich we had an awesome conversation about music and our favourite bands (Him-Hendrix, me-Queen) and as I left he told me to "Keep rocking on". He seriously made my day just by being that little bit more awesome.

-Having something you've looked forward to for ages happen
Whether it's just that your holiday has finally rocked around, or that gig for that band you really like, or just something as simple as getting to see that person you're missing again, it's always really awesome when something you've been excitedly anticipating for ages actually arrives so you can finally enjoy it. It's probably made all the more awesome for the wait too, isn't it?

-When you get to the bus stop at exactly the right moment
You know, when you get there and look up and see the bus in the distance approaching. Knowing you don't have to wait at all and also realising that you timed it perfectly to not miss it is awesome.

-Your best friends adding your other half on Facebook
This happened to me recently-my best mate added my new boyfriend on FB and it made me feel brilliant. It kinda says to me that she thinks that it's going to last long enough for her to bother getting to know him and also that she approves of him enough to want to see him in her newsfeed. It doesn't sound like much but considering it never happened in my previous relationship, it's an awesome thing, trust me.

-Welsh accents
I LOVE a good Welsh accent, I think they're fabulous. There's something about the sing-song-ness of it that just makes it sound like the happiest accent in the world. Whenever I hear someone with a strong welsh accent it just makes me happy too.

What's been making your day in the smallest of ways this month?

-Jenni-

Previous instalments: 

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Autumnal Edition

Book 2/65-What She Saw, Lucinda Rosenfeld

I have to confess that I rather enjoyed 'What She Saw'-most probably because I, like the main character, am a 20-something woman who has been in relationships, and I could easily understand her world and the story through her eyes. The book follows Phoebe Fine through her adventures in life as she tries not to disappoint the people in it, most of all herself. Each chapter deals with a different boy from Phoebe's life-from her first crush to first kiss to first sexual experiences to her first love and first broken heart, and so we see her grow up throughout the book. We see her ever changing cycle of best friends and how she changes from awkward 5th grader to awkward teen to awkward 24 year old. It's very easy to relate to, quite funny and sometimes desperately sad. I reckon a lot of women my sort of age will see something of themselves in Phoebe Fine-whether it's the desperate searching for love in all the wrong places, or the neverquite learning where you fit in society, or just the hopelessness you feel when you don't know in which direction your life will end up taking you. It definitely feels familiar-if you haven't been a Phoebe Fine at some point then you'll definitely have known (at least) one.

I like the way it ends too-it finishes abruptly and with no real definitive ending. After all, she's only just 24, does anyone really have their life sorted by then? (Actually, don't answer that.) It leaves you free to imagine what might happen-maybe she'll learn to love herself better and find her dream man, maybe she'll keep de-evolving and disintegrating forever-who knows? I like the not knowing, I like that we don't get a "happy ever after" ending, because life never just ties off that neatly in reality. And as a woman in my early 20s with no real sense of purpose in my life, I find that oddly reassuring. I'll definitely be making space on my bookshelf for this one.

Memorable Quote: 'She wanted him to be the sunshine to her clouds, she couldn't handle the idea that he had weather patterns of his own, and that he contained within himself the makings of a downpour and possibly even a monsoon.' -In Spitty Clark, pg 124

-Jenni-

A Flying Visit To The Fringe-Part IV

Show 8-Blind Mirth Improv Comedy

[Source-Ed Fringe Site]

As I mentioned in Part II, I am fascinated with Improv Comedy because it's something I could never do and I think people who can do it well are veritable geniuses. I have to be honest, I selected Blind Mirth for two reasons-because they had good reviews and also because my friends could get in for free with their venue passes so I knew someone would come with me. I mean improv can always be a bit hit and miss-it's usually either really good or terrible so I didn't want to go on my own and then it be terrible. I really shouldn't have worried-these guys were excellent. All students at the University of St Andrews, they're young and full of energy and really funny. They interact well with their audiences and have a range of improv games which are all designed with laughter in mind. The first half of the show was short-form games, with quick fire suggestions from the audience that were incorporated into the ridiculousness. Particular highlights for me was the 'Late for work' game where a performer was sent outside and upon his return had to guess what job he was late for and why he was late. Me and my boyfriend had the excellent pair of suggestions that he was late for his job as a chainsaw juggler because he had been kidnapped by pirates (because we're an awesome team) and the resulting mimes were pretty daft. Another game required them to ask for books/scripts/large chunks of texts from the audience and my boyfriend provided the 'Titus Edinburgh Survival Guide' which was then used to great comic effect.
The second half of the show was long-form sketches, which got more and more ridiculous as they went on-but without losing their humour. The performers cleverly referenced previous sketches and one-off comments too, which was awesome because it made you feel like you had in-jokes with them that you would have to be there to understand. I laughed so much-they are a troupe of really funny fellows and you can tell they were having as much fun as their audience were. It's a shame they're in such a small venue really, because I think they could definitely sell to larger ones and still have just as much fun-although the intimacy really helped with the humour at times. Fab fab fab, destined for great things, I reckon.

Show 9-Abominations

[Source-Ed Fringe Site]

As this was my last show of the 2013 Fringe (sigh), I was hoping for good things-and I wasn't disappointed. A cast of 4 (plus a guy on a keyboard) playing hundreds of different characters and all with no set, costumes or scenery sounds like an interesting premise for a show, but it was pulled off ingeniously. This show had everything any self respecting science geek could ask for-evil scientists, machines capable of creating superheros (or just giant chickens), madness, robots, kittens and cobrangowolves. You had to be there. It was fast paced and high energy and despite the fact that they weren't interacting with anything at all, you could easily follow who was playing whom and where there were things and what they were doing. Who needs scenery when you have actors?! It was a smattering of (decidedly dodgy) science, some excellent one liners ("He just lost a game of Rock-Paper-Robot!" "That's a whisk?.." / "IT'S NOT A WHISK!") and some brilliant physical comedy combining to make a thoroughly enjoyable show. I wouldn't say it had a happy ending, but I sure did laugh a lot. If you like your comedy-shows to be packed with dubious science and excellent acting, move at a face pace and have the day saved by invisible kittens (yes, you read that correctly) then this is exactly the show you should have seen. However if you're reading this now then I'm afraid you're too late, better luck next year. Alternatively hop into your time machine and pedal like mad, with any luck you'll make it in time for yesterday's show!
An excellent way to round off my Fringe adventures for this year, I reckons.

So that was it, my bonkers 40 hours of awesomeness and theatre and madness. I walked a lot (often at high speeds between venues), was veryvery tired, spent a lot of money on 9 shows in 2 days,  but most importantly laughed a hell of a lot. When I left (at 5:48 AM Wednesday morning no less), so much of me wanted to stay behind and see more-see it all, but the sensible parts of my brain (and the bits that knew how much I had left in my bank account) knew that this was nothing but a futile dream, and reality always comes along to spoil them in the end. I can't tell you how strange it feels to be on my own again after a month or so of constantly being around people, and time really seems to drag by. Luckily though, even as you read this, I'm visiting a friend in Devon, so the fun hasn't stopped yet.

I'll catch up with you again soon, but until then, tarrah!

-Jenni-

Blind Mirth are on at Paradise in the Vault (Venue #29) at 20:45 until the 26th. Tickets are £6. More details here.
Sadly the Abominations have finished their run, boo!
Why not drown your sorrows by going to see Titus, the show some of  my friends are performing in-a dark comedy adaptation of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. Paradise in the Kirkhouse (Venue #155) at 5pm until the 26th. Tickets are £8/£7 conc. More details here.

A Flying Visit To The Fringe-Part III

Show 5-Bec Hill-Bec By Popular Demand

[Source-Ed Fringe site]

Before I start let me direct you to this video. No really, just take a couple of minutes to go watch it, I won't mind.
OK, are you back? Good.
That video, which I found randomly on some corner of the Internet last year is the reason I wanted to see Bec Hill-because I think it's fabulous. I couldn't get last year for whatever reason (probably financial) so I made sure to put her straight on my list this time around. A combination of her signature 'paper puppetry' and drawings and some stand up too, her show was very funny and I'm really glad I got to go. As an ex-Scout, I also really enjoyed the bit where she taught the audience a camp fire song complete with silly actions-I don't even care if everyone else was utterly confused, I loved it. I think it's a shame that the audience was so small because Bec Hill is a real treat to watch and people are definitely missing out on something really awesome.

Show 6-The Comedian's Comedian with Sarah Millican

[Source-Ed Fringe site]

This was a last minute decision of mine-I bought the ticket on the way in to Bec Hill as they were (happy co-incidence) in the same venue. I had originally planned to see a free show elsewhere but decided that this would be rather interesting, plus I love the Millican so was easily swayed. The Comedians' Comedian, presented by Stuart Goldsmith doesn't promise to be funny-it's a "documentary" show rather than stand-up but I was still pretty amused because Sarah Millican is one funny lady. It was really interesting too because it gave us the opportunity to hear a little about the behind the scenes stuff of being a fairly famous comedian and her ideas on how to do the Fringe properly, how she writes, why she started-all that stuff. It was quite personal and it felt like we were seeing beyond the famous face to the real person underneath-although they are remarkably similar really. She was very candid and also very amusing, swearing like a trooper which I'm sure will be a nightmare to edit around. Although this wasn't a laugh a minute comedy show like the others I've seen, I still really enjoyed it because it gave me an opportunity to get to know one of my favourite comedians a little better, and have a miniature fangirl moment over the fact that in answering my question we had a mini conversation-yay! It was really interesting and I will definitely be checking out some of the other pod casts when they get uploaded to the site to hear what some other famous faces have to say.

Show 7-Ant Dewson: Now That's What I Call Musical Comedy

[Source-Ed Fringe Site]

We weren't expecting great things when we finally found the room that Ant Dewson was to perform in (we'd practically searched every inch of the pub and nearly gave up before we did!) as it was about the size of a stationary cupboard or walk in wardrobe, and had seats laid out for 20 when there should only have really been 16. I mean it wasn't what you would call grand or anything, and as part of the free fringe anything could have happened. It didn't really look promising-a man with a keyboard and a fan, and a slightly trepidatious smile who informed us that he was just going to nip downstairs and see if he could drum up some more interest. Me and my boyfriend exchanged looks-this could have been a very tedious hour...
Luckily though, it really wasn't! Dewson started by handing out chocolate to all his audience, which is a definite plus in my book and then launched into a self-depreciating song about how small his room was and the show he was performing. His songs were very funny, very rude and although the tunes were fairly indistinct from each other, the lyrics had me howling with laughter (which was awkward in that tiny room at times!). They were on a broad range of subjects from love to Carol Vorderman, being under 30 (and knowing bugger all), to a particularly disturbing song about necrophilia and everything in between. There was even a dance break in the middle where, sweat band on forehead, he made us get up and do an aerobics style work out to stretch our legs-it was all very silly but I don't think anyone minded really. For what presented as a dubious gig in a near-impossible-to-find cupboard, I'm glad we took a gamble on Ant Dewson and his funny songs as it was actually a really amusing hour.

Part III over and out, look out for Part IV soon.

-Jenni-

Bec Hill  is on at the Gilded Balloon (Venue #14) at 16:00 until the 25th. Tickets are £8/£7 conc. More details here.
The Comedian's Comedian is on at the Gilded Balloon (Venue #14) at 17:15 until the 26th, interviewing a different comedian each day. Tickets are £9/£8 conc. More details are here and the list of comics is here.
Ant Dewson is on at the Free Sisters (Venue #272) at 19:15 until the 25th. For reference he's in the room called 'The Staff Room' at the back of the pub and up the stairs. Bring thin friends if there's more than 2 of you. Free entry (and chocolate if you're lucky!) More info here.
Don't forget Titus, the show some of  my friends are performing in-a dark comedy adaptation of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. Paradise in the Kirkhouse (Venue #155) at 5pm until the 26th. Tickets are £8/£7 conc. More details here.

A Flying Visit To The Fringe-Part II

Show 3-The Showstoppers' Improvised Musical

[Source-Ed Fringe Site]

Well this was a fabulously fun way to round off the evening of my first day at the Fringe. I have to admit that I am truly fascinated by improv comedy because it's just not something I think I could ever do-my brain doesn't work in the right way! So the idea of not only improv-ing dialogue but both music and songs on top of that was too good to pass up for me. I wasn't really sure exactly what to expect but what I got was fabulous.
Dressed entirely in red and black (to match the set), there was a troupe of 6 performers-4 men and 2 women-plus an evil overlord narrator type who was playing the role of "script writer". When the show began, it was only the script writer on the stage, "on the phone" to his producer who was demanding another new musical from him. He cast out to the audience for suggestions of places where the musical could be set as well as ideas for musical styles/song writers for the cast to emulate. And thus "In The Jungle, The Flighty Jungle" was born-a musical set in a random jungle where a Concord flight had just crash landed, with song styles taken from 'Into the Woods', 'Abba', 'Tim Minchin' (suggestion courtesy of my other half, who was very pleased with himself), 'Cabaret' and a random musical no-one had heard of that was described as 'Latin, Hip-Hop, Pop, RnB and Rap'-y'know, because improving a musical from scratch isn't hard enough already.
And somehow, it worked. The cast were full of energy and were coming up with some very amusing stuff, as well as some fabulous songs-songs in full harmony, with dance routines, all from the top of their heads. It was pretty incredible to watch and I have no idea how something like this is actually possible, but clearly it is!
The story did get a little convoluted along the way, and was nudged in certain directions by the 'script writer' from time to time whenever he felt like he wanted to explore a certain theme more. It was really good fun-funny and fast paced and pretty damn amazing-they even managed to create songs in each of the musical styles set by the audience which was hilarious! (Especially the latin-hip-hop-pop-rnb-rap song!). Highlights for me personally were the terrible Australian accents (as girlfriend of an Aussie this is pretty damn amusing to me) and the fact that I came out singing the finale song at the end-a song that had previously not existed. I can still remember a couple of them now-which I think is a sign that the Showstoppers are doing their jobs properly. It was an hour and a half of madness and chaos and wonder and fabulous songs and great laughs. I for one am very glad I went!

Day 2

[Source- Ed Fringe Site]

Show 4-Pussyfooting
This was a show that I had only heard of because a friend of mine directed and is starring in it-and it isn't something I would have probably chosen to see otherwise. However I'm really glad I did because although I cannot claim to fully understand it, I really enjoyed myself. Don't let the frankly disturbing promotional picture put you off-it was very well written, acted and put together. It's the story of a girl whose feet have lives of their own-and they're taking over her life to weird and almost disastrous ends. I laughed a lot-the show is very clearly aimed at people my sort of age and has lots of pop culture references as well as jokes about student debt and how graduate jobs just aren't all they're cracked up to be. Alongside the humour though were darker moments which didn't feel out of place but oddly fitting-I mean yes the idea that your feet can control you is pretty silly but that doesn't mean that there isn't a dark side to it too.
The energy of the 5-strong cast was fab and I'm quite sure they must be exhausted by now (they've been performing all month) but you couldn't tell at all. The physical acting was spot on too-you really believed that their feet were stuck to the floor or that they weren't in control of their own movements as they jerked about erratically, feet fully in charge. I loved the simplicity of the set and costumes too-simple black clothes with a 'chalk outline' detailing, and all the props and set were drawn onto chalkboards by the cast at the start of the show which was really actually quite fun to watch-especially as they didn't stop moving throughout.
The whole show was very well put together and was really enjoyable. I mean sure, it was a little bit weird and I'm not sure I totally understand the ending but that didn't detract from it at all and I came out with my ribs firmly tickled from laughing. Plus any show that offers ticket holders a free pair of socks on the way in is most certainly all right by me!

4 down, 5 more to go, so come back soon!

-Jenni-


The Showstoppers are on at the Gilded Balloon (Venue #14) at 22:30 until the 25th. Tickets are £13.50/£12.50 conc. More details here.
Pussyfooting is on at 13:20 at C Aquila (Venue #21) until the 26th. Tickets are £8.50/£6.50 conc. More details here.